Columnist Susan Snyder: Tracking uplifting trends

Tuesday, March 11, 2003 | 8:22 a.m.

If you are a boy, there is nothing for you in this space today.

But if you are a woman who has been pinched, bunched, bound, squished or suffocated, keep reading.

This is not about some weird website. It's about buying bras that fit. (See? I told you there was nothing here for you today. Now go read Mutts.)

Women who have shopped in the lingerie sections of most department stores have seen the notices about upcoming sessions with certified bra "fit specialists."

Many of us wonder who they are, wonder how it works and wonder why anyone needs one, as we walk up to the counter and buy the same thing we've been buying since high school.

Jerri Morrison, a fashion model and spokeswoman for Playtex, says that is the reason most women endure ill-fitting undergarments. We wonder, but we don't ask.

Morrison will be in Las Vegas Wednesday for a fitting event at the Mervyn's department store that has just opened at Grand Canyon Drive and Flamingo Road on the valley's southwest side. Fittings will be from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m.

Morrison said this bra-fitting business really works. Evidently, there is more to buying a bra than meets the eye, as long as that eye belongs to a trained salesperson, Morrison said during our telephone conversation last week.

"These certified fit experts really, really know the bras. They take a few key measurements. It takes about 15 minutes in the dressing room," Morrison said.

OK, OK, so it's hard taking the word of someone who would look great in duct tape and a gunnysack.

But Morrison says every woman could look better in a better-fitting bra.

Most of us, she says, wear the wrong "band size." That's the part that goes around the rib cage.

"As we age, we get bigger," she said.

Yes we do, and we're not talking about it. Still, Morrison understands the sizing mysteries of women's clothing. It's just smaller sizes.

She knows 10 different pairs of size 8 jeans fit 10 different ways. Bathing suits fit on top but don't fit on the bottom. A size 6 dress might fit like a size 6. Then again, it could fit like a size 4 or a size 8.

And when did we invent size 0?

The bra was safe. It has been the only garment that brought women clothes-shopping equality with men. You take two dimensions, walk into the store, grab it off the rack and buy it, in the same way men buy all their pants, shirts and underwear from cradle to grave.

If a man spends more than 20 minutes in a department store, it's because he's trying to shop for his wife. God help him.

Women wear the same ill-fitting garment we've purchased for 20 years because, well, we're tired.

"These ladies don't want to get rid of it because they love the styling of the old one. But fashion starts from the inside out," Morrison said.

Fit specialists follow specific guidelines and can almost tell a woman's size by simply looking at her, Morrison said. They are especially helpful for women who have undergone body-altering changes such as reconstructive surgery, plastic surgery or childbirth.

It's kind of fun, Morrison said. Many women come in with friends or daughters for an underwear makeover. Yes, we even do that in packs.