Where I Stand — Brian Greenspun: Thirty years of joy

Thursday, March 6, 2003 | 8:56 a.m.

WHAT IS IT like to have a baby girl?

My friend, Bernie Yuman, asked me that question 17 years ago when he learned he was going to be a father for the first time and that he would have a daughter to start his family. He, obviously, enjoyed the experience because not long afterward he and his beautiful Candace gave birth to a second little girl.

Prompted by his question and buoyed by the depth of experience I had gained being a father of a little girl for almost 13 years, I answered him in a Where I Stand column. Seventeen years is a long time, and the ravages of memory loss have taken their toll -- although Bernie still carries a copy of that column in his wallet -- but I suspect that if asked the question today the answer would be very similar. Only much more so.

I have been reflecting on that time so many years ago because the years have passed but the important things in life have remained constant. Chief amongst them is the thrill of being the father of a little girl.

It just so happens that my little girl ain't so little any more. In fact, today she marks a milestone birthday in a young woman's life, and her father is completely baffled not only about how the whole thing happened but, more specifically, about where all that time went when he wasn't looking.

I remember, as all fathers of daughters must remember, looking at my brand-new baby and hoping that this little miracle of life would grow up to fulfill all of her dreams and many of the those of her parents. Our wishes, of course, are often very different from those of our children. While they, depending upon the time in their lives, look forward to playing basketball on a boy's team or that first prom date, our plans are more ethereal. Happy, productive and fulfilling lives are the kind of things about which our dreams are made.

All of a sudden -- and I am sure we are not the first generation of parents to experience it -- our babies are not only grown up but thinking about one day being parents themselves. Right now it is the prospect of a dog that consumes my little girl although thoughts of family are not far from her consciousness. Thirty years have gone by like that!

As I look back on my dreams for Amy, they included a secure and happy childhood. She had that. They demanded that she be a great student and a leader during her formative years. No question there. I thought about law school or some other advanced degree. Check that one off, too. I have always liked politics and government service. She did that, too. Her mother and I have always encouraged her to stand up for herself and speak up when the circumstances required it. She isn't shy and she is never short of words when the situation demands them. The only other thing I had hoped for was a daughter who could join her Dad on the golf course and share his passion for that silly sport . She tried her best but never saw any relevance in chasing a little white ball for hours at a time.

I know I am not alone in thinking about my daughter. There are thousands of grandparents and parents in Las Vegas who know what I mean when I say that having a daughter is one of life's greatest blessings. And for all the new parents and soon-to-be parents of little girls -- congratulations to the Hofflanders and good luck to the Cloobecks and Epsteins -- you will soon know the joys.

I remember thinking when Amy got her first tooth that I would never see her with just those cute little gums again. And when she started to walk that I would never get to see her fight so hard to get from a crawl to her feet. And then, of course, she started to run and I had to think again. When she went to kindergarten for the first day, I thought the age of innocence was over and when she set out for college I was convinced that it was.

But someone far wiser than I told me that each day of my child's life would be better than the last one no matter how much that defied the logic of parenthood. And you know something, he was right. Thirty years have passed since Myra gave me my beautiful little girl, and each and every day that has gone by has been more wondrous and joyful than the preceding one. That's just the way it is. And, by the way, while I don't know for certain, I suspect that the same rule is mostly applicable to boys, too!

So, like millions of fathers before me and all those yet to come, I thank heaven for little girls. I am especially thankful for this little girl of mine who has grown up to be a proud, competent, resourceful, intelligent and extremely capable woman. And, most importantly, she admitted the other day that she has taken up golf again. Oh, happy day!

Happy Birthday, Amy. Your Mom and I love you very much.