Navy psychologist offers tips to help kids cope with deployment

Dick Benoit

Thursday, March 6, 2003 | 9:17 a.m.

Lillian Miller, a clinical psychologist at the U.S. Navy's Fleet and Family Support Center in Naples, Italy, has some advice for military parents as tensions increase and many are deployed overseas.

It boils down to this: Talk honestly but reassuringly to your kids.

"Children have vivid imaginations, and if they are young enough and imaginative enough, they tend to think that they are at the center of all things, that they are the cause of all actions, good or bad," she said.

"If your child is upset, try to recognize these feelings, and put them into words, such as 'I can see you are feeling really scared about this,' " Miller said. "Sometimes a hug and saying 'This is really hard for us all' is the best things parents can do to validate child's feelings and communicate that they share these feelings.

"Don't deny the seriousness of the situation by telling your child not to cry or not to worry," Miller said. "At the same time you should express your hope that things will be OK."

Miller recommends providing a sense of stability and security by maintaining normal routines and reminding children of day-to-day events that will not change: school will continue, the house will not change, and the children will still sleep in their own beds.

"Knowledge can be helpful, I believe, in terms of preparation for possible war, but the assurance of a deploying parent's care, enduring love, and intention to return and rejoin the family as soon as possible can go a long way toward calming a child's reasonable fears," she concluded.

Honor Guard awards

The annual Honor the Honor Guard luncheon at Nellis Air Force Base has been set for 11:30 a.m. March 27 at the Desert Oasis Enlisted Club. The annual luncheon, sponsored by the Thunderbird chapter of the Air Force Association, is to show appreciation for the more than 500 individual ceremonies the members of the unit conduct each year.

The members perform funeral ceremonies for members of the armed forces, military retirees and veterans, as well as perform at a variety of community sporting and civic events in the Las Vegas area.

The cost for the luncheon is $8.75. Reservations must be made by March 20 by calling Wilkie Walker at 652-7263. Local Air Force Association members pay a reduced price of $6.25 and can register by calling Pete Gillespie at 452-9522.

In brief