Columnist Jon Ralston: A script for Act 3: Scene 1

Friday, June 20, 2003 | 6:01 a.m.

The date is June 25, 2003. The locale: Carson City. Arrayed across the front steps of the Capitol are Gov. Kenny Guinn and many legislators. Lobbyists mill around. The media crowds toward the mass of pols, eager to hear the grand announcement. The governor speaks first:

Kenny Guinn: "I come not to lecture the Legislature, but to bury the special session. Schools will remain open; our long state nightmare is over. Perhaps I have been too hard on these good people, these Assembly Republicans. Some have called them zealots; privately, I have called them pinheads. But now (putting his arm around Assemblyman Bob Beers), they are my friends. We are all budget-cutters now. I announce today that I have agreed to open the budget during this special session so that certain items can be cut. Some will say it is just a symbolic gesture. Some will say it is just face-saving for these fine legislators, who can declare victory and go home. And some might even say I gave in. But this is not about who surrendered (Beers is seen to be smirking, Sens. Sandra Tiffany and Barbara Cegavske tittering). It is about doing what's right for the peo ple of the great state of Nevada. So we will cut the budget down to $750 million -- and let me say I believe the state need! s much more money -- and everyone can go home by Friday."

The applause is thunderous. One member of the Fourth Estate has to catch himself as he claps wildly. Senate Majority Leader Bill Raggio approaches the microphone:

Raggio: "I'm here to announce today that we have agreed on a tax package between the houses. My co-majority leaders Mark Amodei and Ann O'Connell also are here, although I don't think ol' Ann will vote for this. But I am thrilled to say that I can bring a tax bill to the floor and it will actually pass. (Snickering all around.)."

The clapping is more muted. Assembly Speaker Richard Perkins strides to the mike:

"Sen. Raggio and I have waited a long time for this day -- almost as long as he has kept me waiting in his foyer this session. (Hearty laughter.) The compromise we have reached taxes big business and gaming, as I have said about 3,793 times. It is a combination of a payroll tax and a franchise fee on businesses. It taxes big business and gaming. Really, it does."

The Fourth Estate types shake their heads, having heard this one or 3,793 times. Assembly Minority Leader Lynn Hettrick is next to address the crowd.

Hettrick: "All we ever wanted was a chance to show we were right. And boy, were we right. Way right, I'd say. And we have made a very important point for the people of the state of Nevada: Minority rules. The budget will be cut and we can go home and tell our constituents we passed the largest tax increase in history -- by far -- but we cut some at the end. Imagine that mail piece."

Some Democrats in the crowd look down. Blood is visibly dripping down the governor's chin as he bites through his lip. Senate Minority Leader Dina Titus strolls toward the podium but Beers dashes in front of her:

Beers: "We won. Well, let's face it: We did. And we are going to take over the Assembly. And I don't give a rat's patootie what anyone thinks of me. If I say 2 plus 2 is 5, my constituents will still love me. Just call me Mr. Chairman, as in of Ways and Means in '05. (Turns to Guinn). Thanks, governor. I couldn't have gotten here without you."

Guinn is seen to ball up his fist and to be visibly restrained by an aide, who casually wipes the blood from his chin. Titus speaks in her characteristic drawl.

Titus: "Well, I don't know who made this compromise in some back room because I certainly wasn't privy to it. I held my caucus and what thanks do I get from the gamers? They back their boy Perkins for governor and not me. So today I announce my candidacy against Congressman Jon Porter."

Lots of applause from the Democrats. A few Republicans are seen applauding, too. Guinn, visibly calmer, steps back to the microphone:

"So you see, except for this Beers fellow and a few others, everyone is in agreement. We pass the tax package in the Senate, then get it over to the Assembly, where they cut the budget by about $100 million and then send it back. (Looks at Raggio.) Now, Bill, you can hold the votes on this, right? (Raggio is not amused). And Lynn, all those young whippersnappers who don't know squat about the budget have been weaned off Beers' Kool-Aid, right? They will vote for this, won't they? (Gubernatorial aides are seen tugging at Guinn's coat, but he keeps going.) Forget about the number -- three-quarters of a billion or a billion? What's the difference? Not much. Only stuff for poor people and the mentally ill -- and most of these folks here don't care about them anyhow."

Perkins gently nudges the governor out of the way and asks the media if there are any questions. But they are already gone, having fled to their offices to file stories and make plane reservations for home on June 28.