More laughter than tears secret to 72-year marriage

Malia Spencer

Wednesday, July 16, 2003 | 8:55 a.m.

Duke Inghram stared at a small yellowed photo he has carried in his wallet for 73 years. A young woman in a bathing suit poses gracefully in front of a brick house in a small Pennsylvania town.

"5-foot-2, eyes of blue," he said quietly. "That's what I used to say about her."

Freda Inghram, the teenage sweetheart Duke Inghram married 72 years ago, died Saturday. She was 88.

The picture Duke Inghram treasures was taken hours after Freda had won Miss Western Pennsylvania, a title she had to forfeit because, at 15, she was underage.

A year later she was promising Duke her future, again, too young to do so. The couple eloped to West Virginia four days after Duke's graduation from Waynesburg High School, in Waynesburg, Pa.

"Her parents were a little perturbed. Their only concern was she was so young," Duke Inghram said. "She was only 16."

The quickie wedding showed staying power. The couple celebrated their 72nd wedding anniversary June 9.

In an age when couples have as much chance of divorcing as staying together, the length of their marriage may seem unusual, but Inghram said it's not so hard.

The secret to a long marriage is couples should never be mad at the same time, he said. Once both people have cooled off, problems go by the wayside.

Marriage is "a 50-50 proposition," he said. "You give and you take." Many young couples today are too quick to jump to divorce, he added.

Freda's ability to laugh at his jokes, even when they were not apropos, is another reason Duke said their marriage was so successful.

"You have to be able to laugh more than cry," he said.

The Inghrams came to Las Vegas from Pennsylvania in 1944, when he was offered a job as an assistant to the first city manager.

Freda Inghram devoted her time volunteering for the Red Cross, at Clark County Hospital (now University Medical Center), St. Rose de Lima Hospital in Henderson and Nellis Air Force Base Hospital.

"She enjoyed taking care of the sick and the wounded," Duke Inghram said. "She did that for the duration of World War II."

After the war Freda gave up her volunteer work to raise her family and play golf, Inghram said.

"She wasn't the most terrific golfer, but she enjoyed the camaraderie," he said.

Along with golf, music was important to Freda Inghram, her husband said. While she and her two sisters were growing up, they used to sing at weddings and funerals, Duke Inghram said.

"With the proper management they would have been as good as the Andrews Sisters. Their voices blended so well," he said.

Born in Bristoria, Pa., Sept. 23, 1914, Freda was self taught on several instruments, her daughter Carole Montalto said. Her family would play music together on Sundays.

She belonged to Beta Sigma Phi, a women's social association, for about 15 years. The Inghrams also helped to found the First Presbyterian Church in Las Vegas in 1953, where Freda was a member of the choir.

In addition to her husband and daughter, she is survived by five grandchildren, eight great grandchildren and two great-great grandchildren.

A private memorial will be held. Desert Memorial handled the arrangements.