Columnist Susan Snyder: An ode to Las Vegas ‘newbies’

Friday, Jan. 31, 2003 | 4:30 a.m.

How long have you lived here?

A new book written by Reno journalist Guy Clifton and released by the Nevada Humanities Committee helps residents figure out just how truly they fit into the puzzle that is the Silver State.

However, "You Know You're A Nevadan If ..." only helps the average Nevada newcomer know how new he is because he's never heard of "Tark the Shark." (former UNLV basketball coach Jerry Tarkanian.)

And given that people are moving to Nevada in numbers that suggest we're giving away big bags of money (I'm still waiting for mine), it seems more appropriate -- or at least just as appropriate -- to consider the statement, "You know you're a newcomer if ..."

Chances are, you are a newcomer, along with your neighbor and your neighbor's neighbor. Southern Nevada is the fastest-growing region in the country. You can hardly swing a cocktail napkin from a defunct Strip casino without smacking a newbie.

Now, "new" is a relative term. Some people act new for only a year or two. Others are new for half their adult lives. I met a guy a couple of weeks ago who has lived here for five years but still wasn't sure how, exactly, to find Red Rock Canyon National Conservation Area.

We've all heard the claim that 6,000 new residents move here each month, based on driver's licenses issued. And U.S. Census figures from 2000 showed that 85 percent of Clark County's homes were occupied by people who moved here since 1990. Barely 2 percent of residents have lived in their homes for more than 30 years, the census says.

So in deference to the majority, this other sentence begs to be finished.

You know you're a newcomer if:

1) You use turn signals.

2) You tell people you live in, "Nev-AH-da."

3) You slow down for yellow lights.

4) You believe, "It's a dry heat."

5) You've visited Mount Charleston, Red Rock Canyon National Conservation Area, Bonnie Springs-Old Nevada, Spring Mountain Ranch State Park and Boulder Dam -- all in the past year.

6) The guest room has a bed.

7) You discovered you have a third cousin because he's visiting.

8) He's sleeping in the guest room.

9) Your nose bleeds when you walk outside.

10) Your wallet bleeds when you walk past a nickel slot machine.

11) You think "over the hump" means it's Thursday.

12) You know how they do it in California, and you think it's a good idea.

13) You enjoy the drive to California.

14) You enjoy the drive to Utah.

15) You enjoy the drive to the Grand Canyon's South Rim.

16) You still visit the Grand Canyon's South Rim.

17) You think driving to Lake Tahoe is a short weekend trip.