Las Vegas Sun

March 28, 2024

Date Saint: St. John mixes assorted couples in SingleMingle Minute Match

What: SingleMingle Minute Match.

When: 7 p.m. to 10 p.m. Saturday.

Where: Alexis Park, 375 E. Harmon Ave.

Admission: $20 in advance; $25 at the door.

Information: 878-1119.

Forget the cheesy pickup lines. Leave the tall tales at home. Dr. Sally St. John wants to hook you up. If she can't do it in one evening, then she at least promises to give you the skills to do it yourself.

The local counselor/relationship expert, will host her annual SingleMingle Minute Match Saturday at Alexis Park Resort.

Nevermind the brevity. For $25, you can have a guaranteed date or 60 of them. After that, there's karaoke.

Similar to SpeedDating, HurryDate and other such services, Minute Match invites dozens of eligible singles to a public place for a quick question-and-answer period.

Efficiency is the goal: Why spend an evening with one bad date when you can screen several in a matter of minutes?

"It's a chance to meet healthy people without having to go to a bar," St. John said. "This is for people who are really looking and know what they're looking for and are tired of settling."

More than 100 singles, ages 25 and older, are expected to attend. St. John, accompanied by her husband and roughly 20 volunteers, will assist in the matchmaking.

"Everybody's learning how to date, how to screen, how to interact," St. John said. "There's a lot of dating in the month that follows."

The timing of the event is intentional. St. John tries to bring singles together in the wake of Valentine's Day when Cupid may not have come calling. Holidays, she said, are always tough.

"Valentine's Day is like the salt in the wound if you want to be in a relationship and you're not," St. John said. "I've had so many people come to me after Valentine's Day so depressed."

At The Center on West Sahara Avenue, which St. John owns with her husband, she works with clients (through holistic and other means) who are trying to lose weight, dealing with addiction or pursuing career goals.

Preferring the term life coach, or strategist, over counselor, the 40-year-old St. John also writes books, hosts radio shows, and on Wednesdays, gives free success strategies workshops at a Borders Books and Cafe.

Among her clients, she hears the same complaint: Meeting people is difficult.

"I think it's worse here," St. John said. "We have extra challenges in Las Vegas that other communities don't have."

For one, she said, "We're all transplanted in Las Vegas. We don't have the luxury of having families here that can introduce you to someone."

Secondly, she said, "We don't know why people have moved here. Sometimes they run to Vegas. Sometimes they want to run away. Sometimes they want to make it big. You don't know who's who. Even really nice people don't know who they can trust."

21st century love

At Minute Match, men and women are seated across from one another in a line. They're provided questions that range from "What are you looking for in a relationship?" to "What will you not settle for?"

Within 60 seconds one person answers the question while the other listens. Then they rotate.

Five-minute dates, in which singles can select a partner and ask their own questions, follow. Karaoke and a cash bar fill out the evening.

Name tags bear first names and identification numbers. Cupid's Corner will feature envelopes to collect business cards, phone numbers and personal notes. Walk-ins are welcome. Participants must be 25 years or older.

Beth Ellyn Rosenthal, 51, attended last year's Minute Match and plans to return this year.

Though she didn't find a date, or even "work the floor," Rosenthal said she walked away with a better sense of herself and what she is looking for in a partner.

"I find that it's really good for me, whether I meet someone or not," Rosenthal said. "It helps you address questions you might not want to admit about yourself.

Besides, she said, "I was really impressed with the quality of people who showed up -- doctors, lawyers, Indian chiefs, every kind of person -- and the raw honesty there. (Sally's) a great emcee in the bird park of dating."

Richard Gittlein, who ventured out to St. John's dating/mating workshop Wednesday, said he plans to attend, even though he's dating.

"The more things I do, the more chances I have of meeting someone," Gittlein said.

"A lot of these people are dating," St. John said. "For some people this is their return to the dating scene, their re-entry. Some people come just to find out what they're looking for. They want to get down to business. They're tired of the superficial dating scene, tired of the bars, tired of sorting through the superficial fluff.

"This is a safe, comfortable environment where people see beyond the physical to really get to know each other. It gets comical. We always add humor to it."

New this year is a senior section for singles ages 55 and older.

"These women, they look great, they're passionate," St. John said. "They're saying, 'You know, we don't die when we turn 70. You need to do this for us. We're alive, too.' "

Criteria varies among the age categories. One woman told St. John that she screens men to see if they can drive at night.

What you want

On "How to Catch Your Fish," St. John's Wednesday morning relationship segment on "Fox KVVU Channel 5 News," she tells viewers that knowing what they want in a partner can save time and provide better results when dating (and searching for dates).

"Know what they're looking for, then go where that person goes," she said. "If you want to meet a healthy independent, nice woman, take a yoga class. If want to meet a nice guy, take a golf class or take a continuing education course.

"It's not fair to go to a bar, catch an alcoholic and resent him later for drinking." Additionally, St. John said, "Be who you are. Be what you love and you will attract someone just like you. Don't stay home. Go do it. If you love art, go to the galleries. You'll meet other people who like art."

Another avenue, she said, is to tell friends and family what you're looking for. Word of mouth is huge.

"If the way you date doesn't work, you've got to change," she said.

Whatever works

Last year more than 80 singles attended Minute Match, now in its seventh year.

The cross between "Love Connection," "Dating Game" and "Joe Millionaire" attracts professionals who are serious about finding a match and found little success meeting people.

"They're healthy, successful, attractive people who just can't find each other."

St. John moved to Las Vegas from Long Island more than 20 years ago. She said she began Minute Match out of frustration she felt for clients -- healthy, vibrant working professionals who complained about lacking a partner.

Some, she said, would pass each other to and from appointments.

"Literally people have passed in the hallways who are perfect for each other," she said. "I thought 'I've got to get these people together. Obviously I can't introduce them to each other. ' "

So why bother?

"A relationship is a person's opportunity to be brought face to face with another human who will trigger your issues and give you the opportunity to look at your own stuff and grow," St. John said.

"Except, they'll never admit it. They'll say they want companionship, sex. But on the deeper level, we attract people who will help us to grow."

Chemistry, she said, exists.

"If you're attracted to someone it's because they have something you want. There's a part of the them that you're searching for in you.

"It's the person who could potentially help you the most."

Those who arrive at Minute Match with sweaty palms need not worry.

"If someone gets stuck, they can raise their hand," St. John said. "If we see somebody struggling, we'll go over to them and say, 'How's it going?' "

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