Friday, Feb. 14, 2003 | 8:58 a.m.
Susan Snyder's column appears Mondays, Tuesdays, Fridays and Sundays. Reach her at [email protected] or (702) 259-4082.
Pity poor Clara Harris.
The Texas woman was convicted of murder Thursday because she found her philandering husband with his mistress and ran over him with her Mercedes-Benz.
Twice, prosecutors said.
Pity Harris -- not for her murder conviction, but for her lack of personal conviction. The latter really ruins a perfectly good Valentine's Day.
All week, a couple of morning drive-time radio shows have cultivated listeners' tales of lousy Valentine's Days and poorly executed relationship breakups. One is even hosting a "losers party" at a local club tonight.
The increasingly pathetic accounts of love gone bad (one woman said her husband dumped her while she was in labor) has to make you wonder why we don't have more Clara Harrises.
Even Christmas cannot approach the level of impossible expectations raised by Valentine's Day. At least society has made it acceptable to share Christmas with various configurations of friends, relatives or pets. But Valentine's Day cannot be spent with just anyone. You must have The One.
And The One must lavish you with diamonds, and expensive chocolates, roses at work, a fancy-pants dinner and, if you are not married yet, a marriage proposal.
Eeesh. Too much chocolate isn't the only thing that'll make you queasy today.
According to Associated Press reports, Harris told jurors she intended to hit only the mistress' car and wanted to "save" her marriage of 10 years.
She quit her job, had sex with her husband three times a night, cooked his favorite meals and started going to a personal trainer to get buff. She went to a tanning salon and had scheduled plastic surgery to increase her bust size and decrease some other areas -- all "to make him happy."
When this Donna Reed nightmare didn't keep him home, Mrs. Harris freaked and mistook her husband's body for his mistress' car.
She said.
It's good she finally realized she could -- and should -- live without him. It's a pity she'll be doing it in prison because she chose a cowardly path to freedom.
Still, I'll bet David Harris never missed giving his wife flowers, cards, candy and jewelry on Valentine's Day. I'll bet you a box of Ethel M chocolates. Why?
Valentine's Day is easy. Spend $2 for the best sentiment somebody else can write, sign it, put it by the coffee maker and make sure she has roses or he has balloons to show off at work. Your job is finished until next year.
Phlthbb.
Far more romantic is the companion who will empty the litter box and the dishwasher every day without being asked and without complaining. Forget the diamonds. Put away the groceries.
Send the balloons and flowers in July, for no particular reason.
Actually, send them for a very particular reason -- a reason lost on people who need liposuction to feel worthy of being loved or those who need expensive gifts as proof they are loved or those who need public overtures to show others they are loved.
No card or flowers today from The One? Don't whine. It could be worse. You could be Clara Harris, a woman desperate for someone to love her because she didn't love herself. Talk about a loser's party.
Pity her.
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