Columnist Susan Snyder: The Cat does our dirty work

Friday, Dec. 19, 2003 | 9:44 a.m.

Susan Snyder's column appears Mondays, Tuesdays, Fridays and Sundays. Reach her at snyder@lasvegassun.com or (702) 259-4082.

A close friend declared last week that people who open gifts before Christmas Day are communists.

Piffle.

The Cat has no political leanings of which I am aware. And yet, he has unwrapped one of my gifts twice since Sunday.

The first attempt seemed little more than an innocent sharpening of claws on what is to The Cat simply a large, corrugated box covered with paper. My better half taped the paper fringe back into place (in a manner that rendered useless any hope of figuring out what was inside).

The second attempt was brazen. One minute The Cat was sniffing around the tree, and the next minute, "RIIIIIIIIIP," he tore a huge flap of paper from the front of the box.

My partner covered it with an old bed sheet and took it into the guest room, where it was re-wrapped and will remain until Christmas Eve, when we open our gifts.

We are not communists. We are traveling out of town that evening and can't take it all to a hotel room.

I should be happier. This opening of gifts a day early is something I have lobbied for since acquiring verbal skills. As children, my brother and I were not allowed to open anything on Christmas Eve except the boxes from our aunt that contained new pajamas.

Big whoop.

In fact, less than half of what my brother and I were given ever ended up under the tree before we went to bed Christmas Eve. Sure, Mom and Dad would wrap a few items and write cryptic hints on the tags.

But the bulk of the haul was placed there after we were "asleep." Then they'd block the end of the hallway with dining room chairs, a coffee table, cans -- anything to trip up late-night sneaks.

I am certain this practice violated all kinds of fire safety rules (an argument that never worked).

Upon rising Christmas morning, we had to comb our hair, wash our faces, brush our teeth and wait for our parents to do the same before we could launch ourselves into the living room.

Most years I thought it would be Valentine's Day before we made it out of the bedrooms. Still, the ongoing ritual works. By the time we are adults, the nagging voices of our parents become the nagging voices in the back of our minds that tell us, "Don't you dare open that before Christmas!"

So we concoct rules. If it's from a co-worker or friend, open it when it is received -- you want to share the joy with them, right?

If it arrives unwrapped, you may open it without penalty on the assumption that you "didn't realize" it was a Christmas gift because it didn't look like one (box and holiday greeting card don't count as official wrapping).

If it is from an out-of-town relative who won't be there Christmas morning, you may open it if you've had a lousy day at work.

Unfortunately, my partner does not subscribe to this latter philosophy. So he has instituted a rule that is totally unfair and illogical: If you peek and find it or you open it early, it goes back.

But I didn't unwrap the big box. The Cat did.

Neener.

I just hope my better half didn't smell the tuna as he re-wrapped it.