Ten for $10: Trends bucked as expert embarks on holiday shopping spree

Kirk Baird

Monday, Dec. 15, 2003 | 8:21 a.m.

We're told it's always better to give than to receive.

That axiom certainly applies to gifts from 99-Cent Only Stores.

This chain of thrift shops and other 99-cent stores throughout Las Vegas offer a bounty of goodness.

More importantly, everything is priced right.

Baby clothes? Ninety-nine cents.

Motor oil? Ninety-nine cents.

Pots and pans? Drinking cups? Toys? Tools? Ninety-nine cents, all of them.

Keeping to a thrifty budget, I walked in to the 99-Cent Only Store on 520 Marks St. with a $10 bill in hand. The plan was to find 10 items that could be given as Christmas gifts.

I learned, you get what you pay for:

10. "Super Star" dolls. Actually, these sad sack Barbie and Ken dolls knock-offs were two for 99 cents. Finding a bargain at a 99-Cent Only Store is usually pretty telling. In this case the female sports light purple hair and a pink dress with a Cabbage Patch Kids tag on the back. The dollmakers must have raided the wardrobe from the Coleco clearance bin.

With dark purple hair, a disproportionately large head to his waifish body, powder blue pants, yellow boots and a white tank top, the "male" doll is more Krofft Super Star than anything else. To top it off, both dolls reek of plastic vinyl.

9. "Dinosaur Park." Not to be confused with the "Jurassic Park" series of books and movies, "Dinosaur Park" is a collection of rough-and-ready military types. Each action-less figure comes complete with a weapon or two and a military vehicle.

Unfortunately, the figures are nearly twice the size of the vehicles in which they are supposed to ride, drive or fly. Oh, and dinosaurs are not included.

8. Tectron hair and beard trimmer. The "original" Zoom Trimmer kit - as opposed to those cheap copies - comes complete with a black comb, a small brush for cleaning the trimmer and a pair of scissors. What's best, though, is the six-step illustration on the back of the trimmer's box, which depicts an adult (presumably) using the device to provide a makeshift haircut on a child. Nothing better than a 99-cent 'do. Then again, the Zoom Trimmer box does have the "As Seen on TV" logo on the front. And if it's on TV, it must be good.

7. Retro Salt & Pepper Set. A salt-and-pepper set is not the most enchanting of holiday gifts. But throw the word "retro" in front and suddenly these kitchen ordinaries are elevated to kitchen kitsch. This particular set is created in the "classic restaurant style," which means pointy tops. Whatever.

6. Bub'l Gel Eyeball Ooze. Probably the strangest and coolest item I found. It's part Slime, part bubblemaker. Only, the bubble portion doesn't work. Still, it comes with a plastic straw, so feel free to try your luck.

The gel comes in a handy container that resembles an eye. There is the outer pink ooze, the inner-white goop and the eyeball itself, which is attached to some ivory gunk. This ooze is actually kind of creepy and feels like a spleen might feel if it were rolled up into a ball. Similar to the Super Stars dolls, it also has a toxic odor that lingers on the fingers and hands even after repeated washing. To reiterate: You get what you pay for.

5. "The O.J. Simpson Trial: Vol. One -- Background and Opening Statements." With this Court TV video you can relive your favorite moments of the opening statements of last century's greatest trial. And with its exhaustive background information, you're sure to know more than ever about the prominent players in the Simpson trial, many of whom went on to achieve the type of fame enjoyed by the defendant. Whatever became of Judge Lance Ito, anyway?

4. "Play Ball With Reggie Jackson: Tips and Drills from Baseball Superstars." This ESPN home video from 1991 features batting, fielding, base-running and pitching tips from such former Big League greats as Tony Gwynn, Andre Dawson, Ozzie Smith, Rick Sutcliffe and Bret Saberhagen, as well as "Mr. October" himself. As the tape says, "Make Reggie's team your team of personal instructors. They'll show you how to be ready the next time the ump calls 'Play Ball.' " Or when it's time to renegotiate a contract or file for free agency.

3. Plastic flower and fruit bowl. At approximately 18 inches in diameter, this bowl is suitable for a medley of cookies, crackers, cheeses, candy and, yes, fruit. There's also a matching line of plates and small bowls to match. Perfect for ... well, do you really need an occasion to bust out the plastic flower and fruit bowl set? Bonus: It's large enough for a very small person to take a sponge bath.

2. Beach ball. This is no ordinary beach ball. What separates it from the pack isn't just the price, but the fact that it is emblazoned with three 99-Cent Only Store logos. What a great gift. This ball answers two pertinent questions: Where you bought the gift and how much it cost.

1. "Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Calendar 2004." Times must be tough for this bastion of male piggishness, the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition, when its calendar of scantily clad super models winds up in a discount store.

Perhaps it's the lineup of models, who, while stunning, are hardly recognizable by name: Ana Beatriz Barros, Yamila Diaz-Rahi, Melissa Keller, Marissa Miller and Petra Nemcova, to name a few. In fact, of the 12 featured models, only Molly Sims rings a bell. Still, what's not to appreciate about the glorification of the female body, in such exotic locales as a beach, a beach and still another beach?