Columnist Susan Snyder: Don’t hate us because we’re odd

Friday, Aug. 29, 2003 | 5:42 a.m.

It's hard to understand why the rest of the world holds the United States in contempt.

We have given so much.

Pee-Wee Herman. The Happy Meal. Humvees in designer colors.

Martha Stewart.

Butterbean.

"Gigli."

(And we gave the world the popcorn to eat while watching it, if you can keep it down.)

We have introduced Segway Human Transporter to sidewalks everywhere. You can take a "motor" tour of Alaska on one. "Celebrats," a locals' term of endearment for children living in Disney's posh Florida development Celebration, zip around on Segways instead of bikes.

In spite of all the really great stuff our country has given humankind, the oddball quirks of our culture seem to be what catches the global eye,

Take the California governor's race (to Canada, if possible). It's hard telling which is worse: Actors pretending to be well-informed public servants, politicians pretending to be well-informed public servants or the American public pretending to take either group seriously.

In Texas, a new state law that went into effect earlier this month requires Lone Star State students to recite the "Texas Pledge of Allegiance" at the beginning of each school day.

We knew Texas had a state monkey, but who knew it had a pledge?

Nevada doesn't have a pledge. But we have a state tartan and a state grass, even when we don't have a state budget.

Maybe outsiders are annoyed with our obsession with weight loss and bodily functions.

For example, the Associated Press was eager to tell us last week about the 50 pounds Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee has lost through -- you'll never believe this -- diet and exercise. He sometimes wears a King Biscuit Blues Festival T-shirt on his daily walk.

Savor the image.

Vietnam recently prohibited airing television advertisements for sensitive items such as feminine hygiene products during dinnertime.

This from a country where many likely are eating tripe for dinner. Give me Tampax ads with my Tater-Tots any day.

"Tater." Now there's a word as American as personal credit card debt.

The British earlier this year banned a television ad for Wrigley's Xcite chewing gum because the "Avoid Dog Breath" slogan was accompanied by images of a man regurgitating a dog.

Wimps. Ozzy Osbourne once made a living biting the heads off live chickens, and we let him sing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" at Wrigley Field. (At least, we think that's what he was singing.)

Squeamish? Not us. Why, we spent days exploring the depths of President Ronald Reagan's colon on national television. Katie Couric's colon odyssey followed a few years later.

If we can put a scope in it, by golly, we'll bring it to you in living color.

I guess maybe we just can't see ourselves the way others do. I suppose we should have known our days of worldwide popularity were shaky the day national television showed us Bob Dole.

Selling Viagra.

Talk about an image with staying power.