Parenting classes take on more significance

Afsha Bawany

Friday, Aug. 8, 2003 | 4:47 a.m.

WEEKEND EDITION: August 9, 2003

Before his daughter, Brooke, was born four months ago, Nick Hesse carried around a teddy bear with him wherever he went.

In addition to grabbing his Post-It notes, keys and books for class every day to finish his medical assistant degree in Texas, the 24-year-old began carrying the teddy bear as a reminder that a new baby was on its way. Hesse was the butt of countless jokes because of his teddy bear, but he said he did it because he took his parental duties seriously.

He had heard about children who had died after being left in cars in Texas.

"You can't ever say it's not going to happen to me," Hesse said. "You have to accept that when you have a child, you have a responsibility for life."

Recent cases of children being left in hot cars and drowning in swimming pools have become key topics for Hesse and other participants in parenting classes at Family to Family Connection, 6114 W. Charleston Blvd.

Most of the classes, which are free, run five to six weeks and are divided by age groups, from babies to teens. A mix of people attend, from grandparents in parenting roles to single mothers and fathers to couples. Class sizes vary -- five to 25 parents generally attend the classes.

The media attention lately on children being left in cars hasn't increased attendance at the classes, but it has swayed the content.

"The more that it's in the news, the more it comes up in the classes," Sarah Beers, a Parenting Project coordinator, said.

"I think parents are more sensitive to some of the issues. They are trying to understand how it can happen," she said.

Since May, Metro Police has investigated 23 cases involving children being left in hot cars. Five parents have been charged with child endangerment.

In the most recent case, District Attorney David Roger announced Monday that Latasha Raynor would not be charged in the death of her 2-year-old daughter, who died July 22 after being left in a car for two hours. She was the second child to die in Las Vegas after being left in a car this summer.

In both cases the parents said they forgot their children were in the cars.

In addition, four children have drowned in swimming pools this year.

One of the skills the classes teach is how to provide a safe environment. But perhaps as important is the outlet the classes provide for parents to share information and find support.

"Because life is so fast-paced, it's easy to get caught up in all you have to do," said Jan Bialecki, an instructor for the Parenting Project since its start in Las Vegas in 1989.

The transient nature of Las Vegas makes it harder for parents to find support, she said.

"I think it's because so many people move in and out of Vegas and don't have family with them. It can be much harder," she said.

Parents without extended families to fall back on can find parenting difficult, Bialecki said. They need an extra helping hand, and the class, Bialecki said, provides just that.

Hesse and his wife April, 21, an airman at Nellis Air Force Base, said they wish they had their family here because taking care of their daughter would be easier. Their family is in Texas, making it harder to get help in the middle of the night or take time for themselves, the couple said during the parenting class Monday.

"You don't have anybody to call," Nick Hesse said.

April Hesse said finding good and experienced baby sitters is hard, and the cost of day care is high. Now her daughter is looked after at the base's day-care center while she and her husband work, but that costs money too.

State Demographer Jeff Hardcastle confirmed the transient nature of the community, and though his office doesn't track family connections, he noted Clark County residents move more often.

"A lot of people are moving to Las Vegas for economic reasons. If things don't work out, people move on," he said.

In addition, many families have only one parent to carry all of the responsibility. The 2000 Census showed 7 percent of Clark County households are headed by single mothers, 3 percent by single fathers and 22.5 percent by both a mother and father. The remainder of the households counted in the Census do not include children.

Susan Klein-Rothschild, director of Clark County Family and Youth Services, said friends and neighbors can help fill the void when they see parents struggling.

"Anyone of us can help ... Each of us could do little things for other people," Rothschild, a mother of two, said. "How can we offer, what can I do?"

Parents also need to learn to ask for or accept help, Bialecki said. Do parents want someone to lean on or do they want to be super mom and dad?

"We're encouraging parents to nurture themselves. A stressed parent is not a vigilant parent," Bialecki said.

Taking 15 minutes to nurture themselves is exactly what Victoria Paluzzi, a class instructor for a baby care class with the Parenting Project, told five parents to do at a class this week.

Their homework assignment every week is to spend some of their day relaxing or finding something that relieves their stress.

But new mom April Hesse gave a familiar reply: "I don't have time."

She said she works 12- to 15-hour days at the base and takes no time for herself, although her husband encourages her to take a break daily. She's learning to care for herself first with help from the baby-care class, she said. She and her husband decided to sign up when they heard about the class through Hesse's job.

"Sometimes what we think we know, we really don't know," April Hesse said.

That's why the couple look forward to their Monday classes, when they can learn what will be expected as their daughter grows. The classes have also become a support group for them, which is something they have needed for a while, they said.

Because most parenting support groups are expensive, the free class is beneficial, April Hesse said.

A 15-year-old girl who is nine months pregnant also attended the class with her boyfriend, who is 17. The expectant parents found out about the class through fliers and wanted to learn more about parenting before their baby is born.

They wanted to learn "about what to do in emergency situation," said the 17-year-old who wished to remain anonymous.

The two teens listened to other parents discuss their techniques in raising their children and took advice about baby issues, from where to buy baby formula at good prices to how to calm a crying baby.

Perhaps most importantly, they said, the programs have taught them to think twice before leaving their children in situations that may be unsafe.