Thursday, May 30, 2002 | 8:52 a.m.
JUST TELL ME it is a nightmare. Please.
Either that or all those people around the country and, especially, in the United States Senate who say that accidents will not happen because the government knows what it is doing, better wake up.
There isn't much more I can add to the incredible events of this past weekend that took place in Oklahoma -- every newspaper, including ours, has carried the news on the front page and opined as to the consequences -- other than to paraphrase what Porky Pig did not say, "That's not all folks!"
There will be more barges taking out a major East-West arterial of the U.S. highway system. There will be more train accidents in tunnels to which firefighters cannot get and from which all kinds of devastating results could flow. There will be trucks plowing down our highways in which drivers will fall asleep at the wheel, careening their rigs across multiple lanes of traffic and spilling their cargoes from here to everywhere.
There will be all of that because that is the nature of things. And anyone who would tell us differently is living in a fantasy world that will lead directly to human nightmares like the one we witnessed on the Arkansas River.
I am writing about this, once again, to remind people in this state that Nevada's fight against President George W. Bush's decision to send the nation's nuke waste to a site not far from Las Vegas is not a done deal no matter how hard the nuclear industry and its quislings amongst us would have us believe.
The news media is just starting to focus on the transportation issues involved with sending 77,000 tons of radioactive poison through our cities, past our schools and over our bridges just to satisfy an economic need of the power industry to build more nuclear plants. Media folks are just beginning to understand the trade-offs that will be necessary to make the nuclear power producers a few extra billion dollars at the expense of underrepresented Americans.
And why are we underrepresented? Because we haven't poured tens of millions of dollars into the campaign coffers of senators who plan to vote in favor of Yucca just because they feel beholden to their benefactors. Well, what about the people along the railroads and highways who could die or, worse, live a long and painful life because money spoke too loudly in this case? Who represents them?
That will be the media's job, and if they do it well every parent, every teacher, every doctor and lawyer, and every person who cares about the generations that will follow will know the dangers inherent in this ill-conceived plan. And that, my friends, is when you will see some heads turn and some votes turn even faster in the U.S. Senate.
So, don't give up and by all means, don't travel over any bridges unless you know who is driving those boats!
All this talk about the government's plan to hurt Las Vegas and everyone along the way makes me sad. It also makes me anxious, angry and causes a good deal of disillusionment. It is good to laugh in a situation like this.
So, if nuke waste is getting you down or you just want to spend an hour and a half laughing out loud, let me suggest a trip to New York-New York. That's where you will find one of the funniest people you will ever meet.
Rita Rudner has not only taken up residence in Las Vegas -- one of the 4,000 or so who move here monthly -- but she has reached an extended stay agreement with New York-New York to provide her style of comedy nightly for locals and tourists alike.
I am not an expert about such matters but I do know one thing: That lady makes me laugh. And she made the rest of the people who filled her cabaret theater do the same.
Her comedy is refreshingly wholesome and clean and it is nonstop. When she takes the time to point out the differences between men and women and share with "what women want," there are elbows jabbing and fingers pointing to the beat that Rita creates with her deadpan delivery. And, then, there's Bonkers, a part of the act that you will just have to witness to understand why he's there.
Rita Rudner is great fun. If you can't laugh with her, well, maybe you just can't laugh.
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