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twitterSome of Phyllis Diller’s one-liners
Friday, May 3, 2002 | 12:53 p.m.
A sampling of Phyllis Diller's one liners:
"A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once."
"Think young. Aging is for wine."
"You know you're old if your walker has an airbag."
"There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto."
"Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed."
"You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type."
"Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out."
"I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'"
About Fang, her (fictional) husband:
"Our dog died from licking our wedding picture."
"For Fang, getting out of bed in the morning is a career move."
"His finest hour lasted a minute and a half."
"Fang drops so much food on his ties we keep them in the refrigerator."
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