Friday, July 12, 2002 | 4:52 a.m.
MOST GRANDMOTHERS delight in showing visitors to their homes photos of their grandchildren. On a recent day, a Las Vegas grandmother brought out something unexpected to show her visitor: the bloody panties of her 5-year-old granddaughter.
It's evidence that the girl is being sexually abused, the grandmother says. She took the girl to the hospital where a doctor treated her for inflammation of the vagina, which, according to his report, is "the most common female genital problem in childhood." A police detective and caseworker reportedly interviewed the girl. However, the grandmother says, they concluded that the girl's condition was caused by a bubble bath, a notion the grandmother can't accept.
Because child sexual abuse reports are not public record, there is no way to confirm if a thorough investigation of the grandmother's claims was conducted. There allegedly were two physical exams of the girl, neither of which was conclusive. Child Protective Services apparently reviewed the case and did not find cause for alarm.
Allegedly because of the grandmother's accusations, the mother of the girl obtained a restraining order against the grandmother, who can no longer see the child.
Sadly, it's a familiar scenario. Was the child sexually abused or is the grandmother just a "crazy and unhappy woman" as her daughter alleges?
Although diagnostic tools and therapy techniques have improved, sexual abuse -- especially of young children -- is difficult to prove.
"You must be incredibly careful with young children," says Vicki Graff, a licensed clinician who has specialized in sexual abuse therapy since 1985. Young children are susceptible to suggestion, so therapists must be skilled in working with them. But that doesn't mean the children are lying, Graff says. Rather, "it's the nature of being a preschooler. They want to please. They want to give the right answer."
One disturbing trend Graff sees locally is that "children aren't necessarily believed" as much as they should be.
Graff is executive director of Family and Child Treatment of Southern Nevada (FACT), a nonprofit counseling agency that treats sexual abuse victims and offenders. She is not involved in or familiar with the grandmother's case, but speaks generally about working with children where sexual abuse has occurred or is alleged.
Talk therapy is not effective with preschoolers, Graff says. FACT uses art therapy, which allows the child to express her feelings and emotions when she can't talk about something, and play therapy, a child-led activity where she acts out things that are happening in her life.
FACT has a protocol and treatment plan for families where sexual abuse has occurred and where reunification is recommended and is deemed safe for the child. The center also offers group and individual sessions for offenders and non-offending parents of victims. Each has different issues and coping mechanisms.
A former Child Protective Services worker, Graff says people today are more likely to speak out about child sexual abuse, and mandated reporters such as teachers and doctors are taking their roles more seriously. That's not necessarily so when allegations are made by a parent involved in a nasty custody battle or by an estranged relative such as the grandmother. Those cases often are regarded as family disputes. Hence, the allegations may not be thoroughly investigated. At the other end of the spectrum, though, are people who have been hounded and irreparably harmed by false allegations.
Opinions are divided on whether the grandmother is simply being vindictive and dramatic or the child truly is not being properly cared for. Is that enough to warrant a more careful, objective review of the case? For the safety of a 5-year-old girl, it should be. Then, depending on the findings, action should be taken against the parents if they are not properly caring for the girl or against Grandma if she is making false allegations. The issue needs to be settled once and for all -- for the sake of the child.
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