Columnist Susan Snyder: News hounds are making the grade

Friday, July 5, 2002 | 3:29 a.m.

Susan Snyder's column appears Fridays Sundays and Tuesdays. Reach her at snyder@lasvegassun.com or (702) 259-4082.

If you want a newspaper to show a community itself, hire a third-grader.

Heck, hire a whole classroom of third-graders. They're eager, and their handwriting and spelling is better than many of the professionals. (I've heard they use something called a "dictionary.")

The third grade pupils of Michael Vaughn, a student-teacher at John R. Beatty Elementary School in Henderson, were kind enough to share with me this past week the inaugural edition of the Beatty Broadcast Report.

It's a bulletin-board newspaper, which may be the wave of the future for the entire industry if the price of newsprint doesn't improve. It's not a paper that functions as a true newspaper -- it doesn't clean windows, or stuff moving boxes.

But it does give a newcomer a pretty good idea of what it's like to be at Beatty and in the third grade.

We can't print the reporters' names, because until they're 18 their moms and dads have byline rights. But here is some of what these scribes uncovered at their school:

The library has 300,000 books. The school has 991 pupils, and they can only play in the grassy field at lunchtime. Almost everyone likes four-square and basketball. Hardly anyone likes tetherball.

One teacher has a hobby making scrapbooks. Their own teacher, Mrs. Sorenson, is going to have a baby.

"Her favorite color is purple, and she loves talking a lot," the reporters wrote.

Over in the lunchroom, Ms. Vicki and Ms. Leah serve more than 300 lunches every day.

"The most they served at one time was 370. That's a lot of lunches for an elementary school," Broadcast reporters wrote.

The lunchroom is where children learn the evils of credit. Visa should explain it so succinctly.

"(The lunchroom ladies) are nice because if you forget your money, that is called a charge. You get two charges, and if you forget your money a third time, you will get cereal," the story says.

The school is named for John R. Beatty, a World War II veteran whose U.S. Army sergeant's uniform is in a glass case just inside the school's front door. His reason for being the school's namesake?

He was a good teacher.

"He shared his love and his dreams by making each student he knew believe in himself," the reporters wrote.

Not bad credentials. And according to the Beatty Broadcast, third grade teacher Mrs. Karnes is earning similar stripes. She has been teaching 24 years and likes math, reading and science best.

"Her kids never get a red slip at lunch," they wrote. "She gets a lot of presents on Valentine's Day."

Her class has perfect attendance nearly every week. Her students work on computers, play spelling games and "read a lot of books."

"She does not have a student-teacher," the story says.

(Or a sane work day. How much do we pay these people again?)

And of course, no newspaper would be complete without a weather page.

"Hot, hot doggy! It was 108 degrees. I hope everybody is staying inside or swimming to keep cool," the Broadcast's lead weather story says.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

That's scary. I'm the one with a car payment.

Hot, hot doggy.