Review: ‘Snow Dogs’ is a ruff ride

Geoff Carter

Friday, Jan. 18, 2002 | 9:27 a.m.

Grade: *

Starring: Cuba Gooding Jr., James Coburn, M. Emmet Walsh and Joanna Bacalso.

Screenplay: Jim Kouf, Tommy Swerdlow, Michael Goldberg, Mark Gibson and Philip Halprin.

Director: Brian Levant.

Rated: PG for language and mild thematic elements.

Running time: 97 minutes.

Playing at: UA Rainbow Promenade 10, Century Orleans 18, Century Cinedome 12 Henderson, Rancho S' unset Station, Regal Cinemas Colonnade 14, Regal Cinemas Texas Station 18, Regal Cin.

Disney's been to the Arctic so many times it's remarkable it hasn't put a theme park there. The possibilities for attractions are many: Take the "Never Cry Wolf" Experience, in which you take the role of a mousy scientist dropped in the wild with scant supplies and a pack of hungry wolves waiting for you. Or "Iron Will's" Wild Ride, in which you run a team of sled dogs against impossible odds.

Sandwiched between these chill-outs is "Snow Dogs," an inoffensive kiddie ride. It's got Cuba Gooding Jr. sitting in the front seat, over-reacting to everything he's confronted with: an inheritance from a mother he never knew, a tiny Alaskan town full of "Northern Exposure" leftovers and a team of anthropomorphous sled dogs. It runs shorter than the other two movies but still seems long, has no surprises, and is more expensive than the both its neighbors combined.

I have to admit: I thought the movie would be much worse. I thought the dogs were going to talk, as they did in last year's laborious "Cats and Dogs." (I honestly believe Hollywood is run by dogs, who cast themselves in plum savior/protector roles and relegate cats to dopey horror films.) Sure enough, the dogs say a few words in a dream sequence. It's over quickly, but wait for it -- before the scene can begin to wind down, there's a cameo by a hovering, godlike Michael Bolton.

It's that kind of movie, oh yes.

Gooding does his best by a terrible committee-penned script, but he's literally skating on thin ice at the hour mark; you're tired from watching him, and wish he'd go back to Miami and continue being a full-grown infant. His love interest -- Barb (Joanna Becalso), the pretty yet tough owner of the local pub -- has little to do but offer exposition and briefly sweat in a fur-lined bikini.

James Coburn, M. Emmet Walsh and Nichelle Nichols fare better in cameo roles -- better than Graham Greene and Brian Doyle Murray, in any case. The latter actors have little or nothing to do but act like half-frozen hayseeds, which judging from what everyone else is made to do may be a blessing in disguise.

Whether kids will like this film, it's hard to say. But I remember what I was like when "Snow Dogs" was age-appropriate to me, and I know this: Seeing all those big kids hanging around, ostensibly enjoying themselves, I would have expected a big-kid ride, like "Iron Will." "Snow Dogs" is nothing of the kind.