Columnist Ron Kantowski: Re-Flexions on these Games so far

Thursday, Feb. 14, 2002 | 9:40 a.m.

Ron Kantowski's insider notes column appears Tuesday and his Page One column appears Thursday. He can be reached at ron@lasvegassun.com or (702) 259-4088.

Somewhere in a garage near Picadilly Circus, the 1980s pop band Re-Flex has to be plotting a comeback.

Back in the Martha Quinn Era of MTV, Re-Flex hit it (sorta) big with a little ditty called "The Politics of Dancing."

OK, so it wasn't ice dancing. It was pairs. But listen to the lyrics, and you would swear Re-Flex had its synthesizers set ahead to 2002 and the Winter Olympics figure skating competition in Salt Lake City:

The broadcast was spreading

station to station

Like an infection

Across the nation

And:

It's in the papers

It's on the TV news

The application

It's just a point of view

The only thing more stunning than the skating judges awarding the gold medal to Elena Berezhnaya and Anton Sikharulidze of Russia for a performance that was more flawed than the Ralph Lauren rack at T.J. Maxx is that NBC has yet to break out the Re-Flex tune to tell the story of David Pelletier and Jamie Sale, the Canadians who were bakin' but settled for silver. ...

Other random thoughts rattling around in my skeleton closet:

Gotta love curling. It looks like a sport you can play while smoking a cigar or holding a beer. All I know is you've got to have stones to play this game, which, come to think of it, would be a pretty good slogan to put on a T-shirt. ...

Not to belittle those American dudes who turned the halfpipe medal stand into their personal mosh pit, but the real star of these Olympics so far is Stephanie Monika Wartosch-Kuerten. She's the shellshocked goalie for the German women's hockey team who was sauteed with 59 shots in Team USA's 10-0 rout on Tuesday.

In one morning, Wartosch-Kuerten saw more rubber than the Goodyear quality control staff sees in a month. I think the only reason she chose "13" for her jersey number is because 9-1-1 already was taken -- by the Puerto Rican bobsled team. ...

Here's one more reason why a Steelers fan will never appreciate figure skating. After 10-time U.S. champion Todd Eldredge slipped on a greasy triple axel during his short program and then botched a quadruple jump, quashing his medal chances, he clutched a stuffed animal in the penalty box as he waited for his scores to be posted. Somebody get that guy a Tonka truck. ...

I still don't get it. The TV ratings indicate that, as a nation, we are literally and figuratively tuned into the Olympics, which obviously must appeal to our sense of patriotism. Yet nobody from sea-to-shining sea gives two hoots about the World Cup soccer tournament, which is basically the same thing, minus the wind-chill factor. ...

Halfpipe? Isn't that what Tonya Harding used on Nancy Kerrigan before Lillehammer? ...

Don't ask me to choose between Technical Merit and Artistic Interpretation. I'm still waffling between Less Filling and Tastes Great. ...

And finally, today is Valentine's Day, but forget the flowers and chocolates. Anybody looking to spice up his or her love life should simply talk their spouse or significant other into shopping at a boutique that specializes in second-hand luge uniforms.