Columnist Susan Snyder: A concept littered with flaws

Friday, Feb. 1, 2002 | 9:16 a.m.

Susan Snyder's column appears Fridays Sundays and Tuesdays. Reach her at snyder@lasvegassun.com or (702) 259-4082.

If you can't say anything nice, well, say it anyhow.

It's not that I can't find anything nice to say about the new Litter-Free Self-Washing Cat Box. I can. I simply don't choose to say it first.

First, I choose to say, BAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Jeez, are we getting lazy or what?

And then I'll admit the Litter-Free Self-Washing Cat Box has some positives. (I'm positive I'll never buy one.)

After all, anyone who has a cat -- and I do -- knows rooting through the litter box is about as appealing as stepping barefooted into cold, slimy Kitty urp deposited on the living room carpet during the night.

The Litter-Free Self-Washing Cat Box totally eliminates the need to scoop. Kitty buries his business in the plastic, bead-like granules that take the place of litter.

To clean the box, Kitty's human slave pushes a button that engages water jets to break up the nummies and wash the granules. Dirty water is flushed into the toilet or other plumbing outlet. The wash cycle runs three times. The final wash includes a disinfectant. A blow-dryer then removes all dampness.

The entire cycle takes about 30 minutes and can be triggered manually or set on a timer, said Elaine Wexler-Mitchell, a California veterinarian who has written books on cat behavior and is Litter-Free Self-Washing Cat Box's spokeswoman.

Wexler-Mitchell and the Litter-Free Self-Washing Cat Box will be in Las Vegas for the Western Veterinary Conference, scheduled for Feb. 11-15 at MGM Grand.

Wexler-Mitchell has one of the gadgets for her two cats and says it is a healthier alternative for the cat and cat-owned. Pregnant women and people with AIDS or other immune system disorders cannot handle cat litter for fear of infection.

And the box can allow cat ownership for people who are older or have disabilities and cannot lift heavy litter bags or see or stoop well enough to scoop, she said.

This is a good place to mention that the Litter-Free Self-Washing Cat Box, available at some area Petco stores, costs $300. The granules, replaced every six months, cost $25. The cleaning solution cartridge that Wexler-Mitchell replaces monthly costs $20.

And the Litter-Free Self-Washing Cat Box costs $300.

Oh, right. I said that already.

And what do cats think (other than "Humans are so stupid")?

"I do think most cats need to be confined with it," Wexler-Mitchell said, adding that although the beads are very tiny, they aren't the consistency of dirt. Therefore cats may have to get used to them.

(That's $300 -- for a litter box.)

She also said it's a good idea to run the first few cycles when the cat is in another room.

Mine would have to be on another planet. He freaks when I walk near the closet where the vacuum is stored.

Wexler-Mitchell says her cats actually watch the thing.

Suck-ups.

No doubt the Litter-Free Self-Washing Cat Box can eliminate the most undesirable of pet duties in an era when we barely have enough time to do the stuff we like.

But if you're too squeamish or too busy to change a litter box, should you maybe consider a different pet?

I bet $300 would buy an ocean of goldfish.