Where I Stand — Guest columnist Kelly Thompson: A daughter’s tribute

Tuesday, Aug. 20, 2002 | 11:24 a.m.

A note from Brian Greenspun: The last place Kelly Thompson wanted to be last Tuesday was at the podium addressing the hundreds of mourners at the funeral of her mother, Sandy Thompson. Yet that is where circumstances found her, speaking through her tears to an audience crying right along with her. As a reporter and editor at the Sun for 24 years, Sandy Thompson touched thousands of Southern Nevada residents through her dedication to community service.

We were struck not only by Kelly's poise and courage in the face of such a difficult time, but also by the words she spoke and the feelings with which she uttered them. We thought that every parent should want their children to think of them during life the way Kelly did of her mother at that time of great sadness. At the same time, the message was not lost on anyone in that chapel about the time, attention and dedication that her parents poured into their child to create such spirit.

We are publishing Kelly's words -- her tribute to her mother -- so that all parents and children can have them, discuss them and learn from them. Now, while they can do the most good.

I'M GONNA talk about Sandy and refer to her as mom, my mom, because of all the great things she was to me, she was that most of all: my mommy. I want my mommy. I want my friend, my sister, my mommy. I want my doctor, my lawyer, my psychiatrist, my mommy.

Over and over these needs play through my mind and my heart. And I try to quiet them because they are selfish, and mom was not selfish. But mom, I can't be you right now. I have to be selfish. We both had similar-sized hearts, but when mine was hurt, even by the little things, things that didn't affect me otherwise or have anything to do with anyone I knew, it would bring me down and I'd get depressed.

Sometimes I think I'll never be able to handle the pressure and the pain. And I marveled at how you could. But it was because you did things differently. You would take the pain of others and all the worries and hurt of the world and hold it, but hold it so you could know how to fight it, to change it, to right it. And all the while you thought you were just trying to make the world better (which you did) but I don't know if you realized it made you better; it made you stronger; it made you, you. It made you my mommy.

At your father's funeral I was young and scared. You and dad came from such big families, and I was an only, though never lonely, child. I said to you, "Mom, when you and dad are gone, I'll have to go through this all by myself." But I'm not by myself, and I never really would have been. I have daddy, and I still have you. And I never even fathomed that I would have all of these wonderful people who called, stopped by, prayed, thought, and are here today. But you are all here, by my side, to help me through this. And there will never be human words to express my thanks. Mom knew you'd all be here, she had faith in everyone she knew or met just once, even you, Scott.

And I'm not talking a religious faith. I'm talking faith in you as people, as human beings, as friends. None of you would be here today or even have been in her life if you weren't worthy, and you all were. We were chosen to share her, and to let her share us. Some people have told me that they think I'm handling this better than they would've expected me to. But you forget I am my mother's daughter. It's been so frustrating (yet at the same time wonderful) to receive everybody's thoughts, love and condolences because you all are hurting, too. And I try to let you know to worry about yourselves, your own pain, your own loss. And that's mom. That's me. That's my mommy and me.

She never left me and was never anywhere but by my side or right behind me, and this day, or Friday, didn't change that; nothing ever could. I will always be close with my mommy, and she will always be close to me at the same time that she's with all of you, just as she was in life. I love you mommy; we all love you, our mommy.

And the last thing I want to say is actually something that came straight from my mother's heart. She wrote this, and read it to my dad on the day that they renewed their vows. I found it mixed in with all her information for the upcoming weekend, which she and dad would have spent picking me up in L.A. and going up to Laguna Beach, her favorite place besides home. I'd like to read what she said now, so that those of you who didn't really know her or weren't that close can know how happy she has been in her recent life.

"If I could choose to be anywhere in the world, I would choose here. If I could choose to be with anyone in the world, I would choose you. With you, I am complete. With you, I am content. With you, I am loved. The road we have traveled -- most of it together and some of it apart -- has not been the smoothest. But it has led us to this destination, this time in place. And for that I am thankful.

"Our love for each other has withstood the test of time and the bumps and detours in the road. I love the way you look. I love your eyes that are so expressive. I love your intellect and thirst for knowledge. I love your sense of humor. I love the way you look at me. I love your warmth and tenderness. I love your touch. I see your love for me in your eyes every day. I am content.

"Today, through this ceremony, we are again committing ourselves to each other. This time, the love is much deeper and stronger. After 29 years, we truly know each other. We know each other's strengths and weaknesses. The beauty is that we accept both strengths and weaknesses as parts of who we are and, considering those, we still love and respect and cherish each other.

"I promise to continue loving and caring for you for all eternity. Thank you for sharing my life. Thank you for giving me a precious daughter."

The last line I will read not only as it was to my dad, but because I know my mother would say the same to all of you: "And thank you for making me a cherished part of your life, heart and soul."

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