Columnist Dean Juipe: Strip club, Lions share condolences

Dean Juipe

Friday, Nov. 23, 2001 | 10:54 a.m.

Dean Juipe's column appears Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday. His boxing notebook appears Thursday. Reach him at juipe@lasvegassun.com or 259-4084.

The idea was to shake the dust out of my old Detroit Lions sweatshirt and see what life was like on a Thanksgiving morning at a relatively sleazy strip club on Boulder Highway that advertises itself as the Las Vegas "home" for Lions fans.

Great, the sports editor said, certain that anyone at the Centerfold Lounge on a holiday with only the Lions -- and a few topless dancers -- as the lure would have to be losers of unparalleled pity.

Anyone there, we agreed, was likely to be an outcast of some sort or another and their mere presence -- let alone what brought them to such a depth -- might make for a quick study.

But a precautionary phone call to the jiggly joint the night before resulted in this brief conversation:

"Does your place still show the Lions' games?" I asked.

"Yes," said a fellow who also seemed to be manning the door.

"And you'll be open for the game with the Packers?" I inquired.

"No," he said, abruptly slamming the phone down to tend to more important business, such as the bedlam that was apparent in the background.

Darn, I said to myself, they'd be open if the Lions were 9-0.

But the Lions were 0-9, and now 0-10 after Thursday's painful 29-27 setback to Green Bay in a dizzy game that underscored Detroit's ability to repeatedly find creative ways to lose.

Ten down and a mere six to go. Yes, if Detroit loses the remaining games on its schedule it can claim the distinction of the first 0-16 season in National Football League history.

Even the team's hardcore fans at the Centerfold may want to rebel, although I would never suggest that they borrow bags from the girls that work there and wear them over their heads like a number of spectators have been doing at the Pontiac Silverdome.

But I would suggest that the ballyhooed addition of Matt Millen as the team's CEO has only reinforced the notion that ex-players who become broadcasters should count their blessings and not think they can run a professional sports franchise. Look at what Millen has done: Inherit a 9-7 team, hire a rookie head coach, lose every game and hear comedians crack wise about them.

As in, "What's the difference between the Detroit Lions and the Taliban?"

"At least the Taliban has a ground game."

Detroit's coach, Marty Mornhinweg, has few supporters and they have been hitting on a familiar refrain. They say to remember that Jimmy Johnson, Chuck Noll and Bill Walsh began their professional careers with records of 1-15, 1-13 and 2-14, respectively, yet that doesn't take into account that this is the Lions -- one of only seven franchises never to have reached a Super Bowl -- that we're talking about.

Mornhinweg looks more like another Gary Moeller, not Chuck Noll.

All of this disheartens Lions fans, who, even as accustomed to losing as they are, are further traumatized by knowing the incoming Houston Texans (and not the team with the worst record) will get next year's No. 1 collegiate draft choice.

The situation is grim and the proof is at the Centerfold, which may want to permanently jettison the Lions. Our condolences to both.