Matrimonial mishaps: Experts recount weddings gone awry

Wednesday, May 30, 2001 | 8:26 a.m.

You've got the rings. You've ordered the flowers. The dress has arrived and the day is nearing.

But have you inquired about the sprinklers, if any unusually high gusts of wind are expected and whether the skunks have been de-scented?

With all the expectations placed on showy "once-in-a-lifetime" weddings, it's inevitable that grooms will faint, dresses will tear, cakes will collapse and rings will disappear.

To assist in dire situations, there are seasoned wedding consultants and their wedding repair kits on which to rely. Systematic checklists help eliminate unforeseen mishaps.

But then there are other potential blunders begging to spoil a perfect ceremony.

As president of Las Vegas Entertainment Productions, which handles about 50 weddings a year, Lou Marek makes it his job to fulfill wedding requests no matter how strange they may be.

So when a bride and groom earlier this year asked that two doves and a skunk be ordered for their wedding, Marek saw to it that come wedding day, the animals would be present.

Somewhere along the line, however, the request for a"de-scented skunk" was overlooked by suppliers, which resulted in a very smelly stir.

The ceremony proceeded without flaw, Marek said. But as the reception began, someone let the skunk out of its cage.

"When the skunk got out of the cage it got excited, scared or whatever," Marek said."And it sprayed everybody."

Nobody was spared. The bride, the groom, the food and the guests fell victim to the animal's defensive spray. And when the attendants and the nearly 60 guests fled to a restaurant hoping to salvage the reception -- sans skunk -- they were asked to leave.

"When they walked into the restaurant, the people just looked at them," Marek said. "They couldn't figure out where the smell came from."

Trouble outdoors

Local floral designer and wedding consultant Jon Tullis said the greatest wedding mishaps are almost always going to happen outdoors.

Tullis recalls a case in point: Against his advice, a couple insisted that Tullis arrange for them an outdoor wedding on the grounds of a local hotel.

The wedding was arranged, complete with a chuppah -- a decorative canopy that shelters the wedding couple and party during a Jewish wedding ceremony -- that created an ideal setting.

But just as the bridal music and fanfare began and the bride was about to make her entrance, a strong gust of wind accompanied by a heavy downpour of rain prevailed. The chuppah was plucked from the ground and thrown into a nearby pool, which swallowed and disassembled it.

Tullis said the groom insisted that the chuppah be fished from the pool, rebuilt immediately and the ceremony take place henceforth.

Guests returned to their rooms, Tullis and his staff proceeded with the reconstruction of the chuppah, and two hours later everyone was back on the lawn for the ceremony.

Once again, the fanfare commenced and the bride prepared to walk down the aisle. Once again, the winds came and deposited the chuppah into the pool.

"It happened almost exactly at the same time," Tullis said. "At this time it was getting dark and we were not fishing it out of the pool again."

Sprinkled ceremony

It seemed a perfect day for a wedding when local reverend Julie Nourish, about to wed a couple from out of town on the grounds of Caesars Palace, waited at the alter for the ceremony to begin.

A beautiful elaborate setting, complete with a harpist, had been created near a garden.

With about 40 guests looking on, the bridesmaids and groomsmen had made their way down the aisle.

As they turned to watch the woman of the hour to make her grand entrance, the hotel's lawn-sprinkler system turned on, spraying water onto guests and the wedding party.

Within seconds the guests were wet, angered and shaking their heads, she said. "The guests were very rattled," Nourish said. "They just scattered across the lawn yelling -- everywhere."

And there was little time to dry off, "because then it started raining."

The bride's dress was spared, but her nerves were frazzled, Nourish said. Forty-five minutes later, the chairs, the harpist, the wedding party and the guests were reunited inside the hotel and another ceremony took place.

By then everyone was settled and sipping champagne, Nourish said, which helped to calm them.

"But I don't know how much, because you lose some of the ambience," she said.

Bound to happen

Industry experts say the national average cost for a wedding is $20,000. But people will spend tens of thousands of dollars beyond that figure for their special day.

"When you're spending that kind of money, a wedding should be treated like a business," said Robbi Ernst, a local wedding consultant who handles elaborate, expensive weddings. Ernst wrote the book "Great Wedding Tips From the Experts."

"The majority of weddings do go smoothly," he said. "(But) they'll go smoother if you have someone in charge."

To ensure a smooth-sailing wedding Ernst carries an emergency kit, which contains among other things, extra socks for groomsmen who are prone to wearing blue socks with their tuxes, Super Glue for strings of beads that inevitably fall from bridal dresses, straws for brides who might otherwise spill beverages on their dress -- and club soda and dusting powder for those who do, to hide or remove the stain.

Last-minute emergencies and problems are bound to happen, he said.

Ernst said the biggest concerns couples have about their wedding day is whether wedding attendants will show up on time, and whether vendors, such as florists and caterers, will show up at all.

One of the biggest mistakes couples can make, he said, is hiring friends to make a significant contribution to the wedding, such as sewing the dresses, having an aunt make a cake or a friend arrange the flowers.

"They're not Martha Stewart," he said.

Local bridal consultant Valerie Lucas knows firsthand the problems that can arise when someone who is not a professional is in charge of making the dresses.

Five years ago she attended a wedding that had been held up for 1 1/2 hours, while the seated guests patiently waited for it to begin.

Turned out on the day of the wedding, the bridesmaid dresses were still being made.

"You'd think you'd be done a couple of days before because of the alterations," Lucas said, recalling the wedding.

And although she was a wedding consultant, she was not compelled to leap from her seat, bound behind the scenes and assist because an attendant continued to announce to the guests, "We're just running a few minutes behind."

Only "one in 1,000 weddings go bad," Lucas said. "Most people are just nervous.

"I just tell my brides that when the music starts, if you're not ready to walk down the aisle, let me know. Nearly 100 percent of the time, they're fine."

Negligent vendors

While no amount of money can compensate for grooms who faint during the ceremony or brides who trip into cakes, couples who purchase wedding insurance can always claim compensation for no-show limousines, photographers, florists or bridal dress shops that suddenly go out of business.

"It's really funny to see wedding disasters after the fact, but dealing with the bride while they're going through it, it's very tragic," said Karen Sandau, vice president of California-based Wedsafe Wedding Insurance, which offers specially-designed wedding insurance policies that cover such instances as lost rings to absent vendors to natural disasters that can force the cancellation of a wedding.

The stress of wedding preparation is very intense, said Sandau, who founded WedSafe with her husband shortly after the two were married. "It's all hanging in the balance till it comes together on that one day."

At least with wedding insurance, the bride and groom don't have to chase down a negligent vendor, she said.

But not all bloopers have to wait years before their remembered with humor.

Local wedding photographer Jim Frees recently received a call from a frantic member of a wedding party. The photographer had failed to arrive.

The wedding was about to begin, so Frees agreed to pinch hit for the photographer and sped to the ceremony.

He arrived just in time to see the bride kiss the groom and back walk down the aisle.

To remedy the problem, highlights from the ceremony, including the bride's walk down the aisle, the wedding vows and the kiss, had to be re-enacted before the guests.

Fortunately it didn't dampen the spirit of the day, Frees said. "It was hysterical. People were laughing like you wouldn't believe."

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