Local author searches out what teens want

Kimberley McGee

Friday, May 25, 2001 | 9:17 a.m.

Fast Facts

What: Cherie Carter-Scott booksigning.

When: 7:30 p.m. Saturday.

Where: Barnes & Noble, 567 N. Stephanie St.

Information: 434-1533

It's the best of times, it's the worst of times.

The years between childhood and adulthood can be hard for teens.

Cherie Carter-Scott, a local author and chairwoman of the Motivation Management Service Institute, said it is also a crucial time for parents and their growing children to connect.

"Teenagers and parents have to learn to respect each other through some hard communications," Carter-Scott said.

She attempts to make that communication easier for teens with her latest book, "If High School is a Game, Here's How to Break the Rules," ($12.95, Delacorte Press).

The 163-page book, which she will sign copies of Saturday at Barnes & Noble in Henderson, discusses sex, violence, drugs and peer pressure, among other issues teens face.

"Everything in this book is what happens between childhood and adulthood," Carter-Scott said.

She and her 19-year-old daughter, Jennifer, traversed the stormy teenage seas of raging hormones, attitudes, accidents and, yes, a few good times.

At one point, the once-close mother and daughter were polarized.

It was a crossroads.

Carter-Scott was worried about her daughter's slipping grades and new crowd of friends. The teen was exasperated that her mother wasn't more impressed that at 16 she was drug-free and not pregnant.

"I'm in search of excellence, and she is in avoidance of terrible," Carter-Scott said.

After a year of rebellion, arguments and tears, they came to an understanding of their changing relationship.

They collaborated on the book, which strengthened their bond as mother and teenage daughter.

"Wherever we found teens, Jennifer sat down and asked them questions," Carter-Scott said. "She actually helped me make the chapters teen-friendly. She used (teens') frame of references and language."

The surveys and notes gathered from the teens carried a message that shocked Carter-Scott.

"Teens said they couldn't tell their parents the truth," Carter-Scott said. "Not about anything -- who they were seeing, where they were going, if they were having sex, whether they were doing drugs."

A lack of communication between parents and their teenager isn't uncommon, but can be dangerous, said Kathleen Boutin, program coordinator for the Clark County Health District.

"Nevada leads the nation in dropout rates, suicide rates and teen pregnancy," Boutin said. "We have a problematic situation here with our teen population."

She said she is amazed by the number of parents she counsels who are in denial of their teenager's activities.

The county and UNLV offer workshops for parents on how to talk to teens about sensitive subjects such as sex, drugs and violence.

Carter-Scott found teens crave some guidance from their parents, but also recognition that the teen isn't a child.

"In puberty the game changes," she said. "Parents have to imagine that they are starting a relationship with a whole new person."

By building a strong foundation of trust from childhood, a troubled teen is more likely to turn to a parent for counsel instead of away from them out of fear of their reaction.

"You have to develop a relationship with them through the childhood years where they trust you," Carter-Scott said. "They have to trust you and be able to say anything."

Some parents might say their teen hasn't uttered more than a few grunts, the occasional affirmation or the flippant, "whatever," since Ricky Martin shook his bon-bon last summer.

Carter-Scott suggests that parents spend at least a few moments each day with their teenager in a relaxed atmosphere where each feels comfortable to talk, such as while driving to school, having breakfast or running errands.