Where I Stand—Brian Greenspun: For the kids’ sake

Thursday, May 24, 2001 | 9:40 a.m.

Brian Greenspun is editor of the Las Vegas Sun.

HALF-BAKED in the Big Apple.

There are so many important issues of the day to deal with that it seems frivolous to me that I would use this space to write about someone else's divorce.

Nevertheless, it is a matter I can't ignore in most part because of the legal rulings and, in part, because of the players. The players are Donna Hanover and her husband, New York Mayor Rudolph Giuliani.

Monday, the judge handling what the New York Times says is "the most public spectacle of domestic discord in the history of the New York City mayoralty," ordered Hizzoner to keep the other woman, Judith Nathan, far away from Gracie Mansion.

Gracie Mansion is, of course, the taxpayer-provided home for the mayor, which he still shares with his wife -- go figure -- and their two children, Andrew, 15, and Caroline, 11. It seems that the kids all but ran into Ms. Nathan while she was visiting the Mansion, a life lesson their mom wants to avoid, if at all possible.

The judge ruled the way common sense would dictate: keep the lady away from the house where highly impressionable and easily hurt children live. She ordered the mayor and his missus to work out a time and a very different place for Rudy to introduce his children to his new life's love.

In another ruling, the judge refused to gag the two warring parties and their lawyers, which means they are free to trash each other in the media which, as you can imagine, is only too happy to oblige in the soap opera capital of the world.

The mayor wanted Judge Judith Gische to silence his wife and, I assume, himself because the words were beginning to hurt. Judge Gische, however, wasn't buying Rudy's rot and reprimanded him and his high-priced lawyer, Raoul Felder.

Over Mother's Day weekend Felder had referred to the mother of Rudy's children as an "uncaring mother" who was "howling like a stuck pig." Not nice at any time. Crazy talk on Mother's Day.

Judge Gische said in her order, "Although the court has no legal authority to restrain either party from speaking to the media, this does not preclude either of them from using good sense and personal restraint for their sake. The children are of an age and maturity that they have ready access to the media. The barrage of negative comments that ensued ... were embarrassing and no doubt painful for these children."

There was more, but you get the picture. How can a man who is mayor of one of the largest cities in the world act like such a jerk and in a manner that hurts innocent children just for the sake of scoring points in an obviously emotional and very public divorce?

The judge couldn't answer that question so she told Rudy to shut up. That's good advice for everyone who is considering the harm to be done to a divorcing spouse without understanding the terrible hurt inflicted on the children.

And New York isn't the only place where this kind of behavior occurs. It may be the only place where a mayor like Rudy acts so childish but, then again, it is New York we are talking about.

The lesson here is simple. Once the decision to divorce is made it is no longer about the adults. Someone needs to consider the kids. And when Mom and Dad don't get it, someone else must step forward.

It shouldn't take a judge in New York to teach us that lesson, but better from her than not at all.