Columnist Ruthe Deskin: Wedded bliss becoming more rare

Ruthe Deskin

Thursday, May 24, 2001 | 8:15 a.m.

Ruthe Deskin is assistant to the publisher. Reach her at deskin@ lasvegassun.com.

"Love and marriage. Love and marriage. Go together like a horse and carriage."

That old song lyric seems somewhat prophetic if one is to believe the latest census reports that show marriage becoming an institution of the horse-and-buggy days.

Two people shacking up without benefit of clergy was considered downright sinful in the "good old days." The latest census figures would seem to indicate that more and more couples are opting out of wedlock.

Sociologists offer many reasons for the new trend. Some couples are choosing to test their relationships by living together before making a lifetime commitment. Like the worn-out old joke advises: "You don't buy a used car without kicking the tires."

The marriage tax penalty (which should have been abolished years ago) is offered as another reason for shying away from marriage. Some couples just don't want their personal finances mingled until they are sure they are into the relationship for the long haul. It's called testing the waters.

Women, having discovered they can make it in the world without male assistance, are less apt to rush into a marriage of convenience.

To those who elect to forego the formality of the legal marriage, I would suggest watching television judges such as Judge Judy and Judge Joe Brown. Most of their cases involve people who have lived together. When the heat of passion dies and they decide to cool it, terrific battles arise over who gets what.

The ownership of pets, long-term leases, jewelry, furniture, bills, cars and a long list of items bring former lovers into court where bitter battles ensue. In some cases jilted partners are sued for revengeful acts and harassment.

Without a legal marriage contract these attempts to salvage pride and property are much more complicated than through a divorce action. When couples choose to keep house together there should be an understanding in writing, preferably prepared by an attorney, as to the disposition of community property should a breakup occur -- and it usually does.

If I were an advice columnist I would warn girls against forming a loose liaison without having a marriage license in hand. Believe me, the woman usually comes out the loser, especially if there are children involved.

It's discrimination.

Wells Fargo recently sent me a notice that, as a good customer, I was entitled to a free $1,000 accident insurance. I ignored the letter.

Then came another. I decided to fill out the application. What could I lose?

A few weeks later I received a letter saying I was too old to qualify for the free insurance. OK, so I wasn't all that enthused in the first place.

Within a week I received my "Certificate of Enrollment" and an offer to extend the coverage.

The Wells Fargo Accidental Insurance plan administrators need to get their act together.

If I am too old, take me off the mailing list. Don't keep reminding me of the fact.

Wonder if age would have anything to do with whether I keep my account with Wells Fargo?

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