Columnist Ron Kantowski: Las Vegas: A bad influence?

Thursday, May 10, 2001 | 9:29 a.m.

Ron Kantowski's column appears Thursday. Reach him at ron@lasvegassun.com or 259-4088.

While shooting the curl on the remote control last weekend, I happened onto a "Saturday Night Live" skit in which a scantily clad hostess, appearing in a fictional lounge in Henderson, Nev., (at least give SNL props for checking out the surrounding area), was making balloon animals for kids. She used various parts of her anatomy to hold the balloons in place so she could tie the knots.

In that The Church Lady was not available, I think this was SNL's attempt to satirize the chamber of commerce's implied tack of marketing Las Vegas to minors.

The bit was so lame that I'm sure local tourism officials weren't the only ones groaning. But I don't think a send-up on national TV is what they imagined when Circus Circus and its many imitators began to spring up on the Strip.

At least they could laugh (sort of) this one off. Not as funny are all-too-regular reports about high school teams running afoul of their parents, coaches and/or the police as a result of shenanigans on a Las Vegas road trip.

One of the more dubious incidents transpired a couple of years ago when members of the St. Louis High football team from Honolulu tried to turn the World Trade Center hotel on East Desert Inn into an X-rated version of Don Ho's place. They rang up a couple of call girls, threw a luau in which grass skirts were optional and, of course, got busted by security.

The most recent brouhaha went down a couple of weeks ago when the Kennedy High baseball team from Los Angeles was in town to play in the Bishop Gorman tournament. One of the Cougar players was caught in his room using an illegal substance and was suspended. They made a big deal out of it in the L.A. papers last week after two more tourney teams, Granada Hills and Highland, also reported rules transgressions by players while they were here. And guess who is getting blamed for the misdeeds?

The kids, for using poor judgment? The coaches, for leaving their kids unsupervised? Parents, for not teaching their kids better? Nope. Las Vegas, for ... well, being Las Vegas.

"You don't have to look very far to find trouble in Las Vegas," Kennedy coach Manny Alvarado told the Los Angeles Daily News.

"They don't call it Sin City for nothing," the Los Angeles Daily news told its readers.

It's one thing if a wide-eyed kid takes a handbill from a smut peddler on Las Vegas Boulevard and becomes the first person in history to not only put the handbill in his pocket, but to actually dial the phone number on it when he returns to his room.

But if coaches think Las Vegas is the only place where their players would be tempted to smuggle a little pot or Jack Daniels into their rooms, they are more naive than ... well, the kid who thinks the girl pictured on the handbill is the same one who will knock on his door and bill his parents' credit card.

Apparently, I'm alone in thinking this way. Just get a load of this from the Daily News:

"Obviously, the tournament being in Las Vegas increases the likelihood of trouble. It's nearly impossible for someone to see all the gambling and drinking and not feel as if they've stepped into an 'anything goes' zone."

All I can say is I'm glad I wasn't so easily influenced when my high school baseball team spent a weekend in Lafayette, Ind. Or I'd be wearing a ball cap touting some hybrid brand of corn and driving a tractor.