Gays push for rights

Kris Hill

Friday, March 2, 2001 | 11:11 a.m.

Months after 70 percent of the voters approved a ballot initiative last fall to ban same-sex marriages in Nevada, the gay and lesbian community is brushing itself off and setting its sights on a battle it is more likely to win.

The fight will focus on legislation -- the Nevada Family Fairness bill -- that would guarantee hospital visitation rights to unmarried couples. It would mandate the creation of a registry where couples could sign up as committed partners.

The leaders of the gay marriage ban say they may not oppose this bill.

Currently, family members of a hospitalized gay person can ban same-sex partners from the room, even in cases where one partner is dying and a final visit would help during the grieving period.

Ron Lawrence, a licensed marriage and family therapist who runs the Community Counseling Center near Maryland Parkway and Sahara, says when families take advantage of that legal right, it is traumatic for the gay couple.

"The very first case that I had was the case of two gay men who had met in the Navy," he said. One died from AIDS after they had been together for years. His partner's family had kicked him out of the hospital and excluded him from the funeral arrangements.

After his partner's death, all he had from their time together was his partner's naval uniform, and he developed an elaborate ritual that involved cleaning and pressing the uniform.

"His whole grief ritual centered on that uniform," Lawrence said.

Lawrence has worked with many other patients who have been thrown out of their partner's hospital room by security at the request of relatives.

"I have had a whole group of gay men (who were patients) who were very traumatized because they were thrown out," Lawrence said.

"What society is saying to us is that our feelings, our relationships aren't as important," he said.

The bill, he said, would improve respect for same-gender couples.

"It's not nearly what we deserve, but it's a step," Dan Hinkley, Lawrence's partner, said. Hinkley is also a board member of Equal Rights Nevada.

Committed homosexual partners often head to a lawyer to guarantee the right to be present and make decisions if someone in the relationship ends up in the hospital. They rely on power of attorney documents and living wills to grant those rights.

In addition, partners list one another as beneficiaries on life insurance policies.

Lawrence and Hinkley, who have been together almost 10 years, are drawing up papers that would give each other power of attorney, Hinkley said.

Most couples seek legal help to prevent problems that may arise during a hospital visit.

It was obvious to members of the Progressive Leadership Alliance of Nevada during a January meeting that there was a need for the bill, Liz Moore, the alliance's Southern Nevada coordinator, said. "The burden that exists is that same-gender couples have to plan ahead," Moore said.

The intention of the bill is to make sure that two people who are committed to each other will be guaranteed the right to see each other rather than allowing medical staff to make subjective decisions about a patient's relationships, she said.

"We're also trying to use it as a way to organize our community, which is largely politically inactive," Moore said.

The bill is particularly important to the community after Question 2, the ballot initiative to ban gay marriage, was approved in November, Moore said. By starting small, Moore hopes the gay and lesbian community will be able to use the hospital visitation rights issue as a steppingstone toward bigger issues.

The need for the bill also came out of what Moore describes as inconsistent visitation policies at different hospitals throughout the state.

While local hospitals such as University Medical Center and Sunrise use language in visitation policies to allow relatives and significant others to visit, if only one or two visitors are allowed and the patient is in a coma, family members can exclude the patient's partner, and hospital staff can't do anything about it, according to hospital officials.

Another step same-gender couples take to prevent problems during treatment is communicating the nature of the relationship to medical staff.

When Mary LaFrance found out several years ago that her partner, whom she declined to identify, would need lengthy treatment for an illness that would include a hospital stay, the pair made sure the medical staff knew they were a couple.

As a result of planning ahead and open communication, LaFrance said, she had a positive experience during her partner's treatment.

"The professional staff at the hospital treated me as they would have treated a spouse," she said.

Before LaFrance's partner entered the hospital, the couple consulted an attorney who drew up documents that gave LaFrance power of attorney, and her partner created a living will.

LaFrance, a professor at UNLV's William S. Boyd School of Law, understood the importance of protecting her rights. She was concerned that her partner's family might try to exclude her from her partner's treatment.

"If anyone with a superior legal right exists, they can come in and take away (the partner's rights)," LaFrance said.

It frustrated her that, at a time when she was supposed to be focusing on her partner's medical treatment, they had to agonize over the wording of the power of attorney documents and her partner's living will.

"It was very traumatic," she said, though her partner recovered.

And yet that's the lucky scenario, LaFrance said. Having time to prepare in advance is not something every couple can or will enjoy, she said.

"I think this is indicative of an organizing effort (by the alliance) to be a voice for the community," LaFrance said.

The bill will help a lot of couples, she said, because many don't plan ahead.

"It will also raise awareness about respecting the status of same-sex partners," she said.

Those whom Moore and Lawrence expected to oppose the bill have been cautiously embracing it.

"It's no secret that people in close relationships help in the healing process," El Camino Baptist Church pastor Russ Daines said. He is also president of the Nevada chapter of the Southern Baptist Convention, which has condemned homosexuality.

But if the sick person is unable to decide whom they would like to visit, then the family should make that decision and that choice should be respected, Daines said.

"The majority of the time (the family will) probably make the best decision," he said.

Richard Ziser, president of the Coalition for the Protection of Marriage, which formed to promote the initiative to ban gay marriage, said he might support the bill, depending on how it's written.

"I would have no problem with a bill that opens up hospital visitation rights," Ziser said.

"As soon as we see the bill, we'll take a position on it," he said.

State Assemblyman David Parks, D-Las Vegas, plans to sponsor the bill, which is in the process of being drafted, according to legislative staff.

Parks said it could be introduced in early April.

"Anything that will simplify the process, then by all means, let's get this done," LaFrance said.

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