Columnist Sandy Thompson: Teen takes life in stride despite obstacles

Sandy Thompson

Friday, March 2, 2001 | 1:41 a.m.

Sandy Thompson is vice president/associate editor of the Las Vegas Sun. She can be reached at 259-4025 or e-mail at thompson@lasvegassun.com

WHEN ELLEN was a little girl, she dreamed of getting a car at 16 and living on her own at 18.

Little did she know that she would be on her own at 16 -- and hopes of getting that car are slim.

But this is not a tale of woe and broken dreams. It's one of hope and resilience. It's about a girl who is determined to succeed despite serious obstacles thrown in her path. At a time when many adults act like children, here's a child who acts like an adult.

During the weekdays, Ellen (not her real name) is a local high school junior. In the evenings and on weekends, she takes the CAT bus to a local mall where she works 35 to 40 hours a week. She's her only source of support.

Ellen remembers "only bits and parts" of growing up in a small town back East. What she does recall "is not good." Her father was with the military and they moved often, ending up in Las Vegas a few years ago.

When Ellen was 12, her mother left home without saying anything to the girl. Ellen stayed with her father. They argued a lot. She suspects he was using drugs. One day he left, too, returning a short time later. At 15 Ellen packed her bags and left the house.

"He ran away from me and I ran away from him," she says.

Ellen isn't sure where her father is now. Her mother is in prison out of state. Ellen politely declines to discuss the details.

After she left home, Ellen stayed with friends and for a short time with her boyfriend, who she calls her best friend. But she knew that wasn't the best situation. A colleague at work, learning about Ellen's situation, offered her a room in her family's home, which is where she's now living.

Ellen is seeking to become legally emancipated. The process costs $370, which she doesn't have. The pay from her minimum-wage job doesn't stretch that far.

"I'm trying to work hard now," she says with a smile.

Ellen likes making her own decisions. She admits, though, that she misses "being lazy." Her definition of "lazy" is having someone buy her food or pay her bills.

Ellen had been making straight A's, but her grades have fallen a bit because of her work schedule. The grades are still good enough to get into college, which is her goal. Her favorite subjects are literature, psychology and English.

When she can act like a teenager, Ellen enjoys going to concerts featuring local bands. Tickets are only $3. She loves talking to people. She's always starting up conversations with her fellow CAT bus riders.

"I like to see how they're doing, and then I learn that my life isn't that bad," Ellen says.

When asked what advice she'd give other teens, she quickly answers: "Stay in your house as long as you can and take advantage of the environment you have. Go home and study and eat all the food."

Because there were nights when she went without dinner, Ellen cringes when she sees kids leave food on their plates. "When you start buying your own food, you eat every bit," she says.

Ellen also believes it's important for parents to instill morals in their children.

Her high school counselor, who is helping Ellen look at college options, marvels at the girl's positive attitude. Today, when many teens complain if they don't get a new car or the latest CD, Ellen stands out. She's happy just to have some of the basics.

"Life is how you take it," she says.

Ellen seems to take it all in stride. She's upbeat and self-reliant.

"I try to be nice to everyone because what goes around comes around."

If that's the case, Ellen's future will be brighter than her past.