76ers look to avoid being 86’d quickly

Victoria Sun

Tuesday, June 5, 2001 | 10:32 a.m.

Congratulations, Philadelphia!

Now that you've bled, crawled and hobbled your way past the Milwaukee Bucks in the Eastern Conference Finals, you've earned a trip to the NBA Finals to face the Los Angeles Lakers.

No. Not the seemingly combustible Lakers which went 6-6 in January when the silly feud between Kobe Bryant and Shaquille O'Neal became public knowledge.

And not the Lakers who were missing feisty point-guard Derek Fisher, who has turned out to be the pulse of this predatory Laker animal.

Sorry.

The Laker team you get to play is the Zen-master inspired, kick-butt and love one another like Wally and Beaver Cleaver model that comes along about once every time Hugh Hefner doesn't have a busty blonde in tow.

Those Lakers thought defense was something only utilized during wartime. These Lakers defend every game as if basketball is a war.

The Laker team you are about to encounter is the one that has won 19 consecutive games leading up to the championship series.

The same one that is on the verge of becoming the only team to go undefeated throughout the playoffs, topping the 12-1 playoff record set ironically by Philadelphia during the 1982-'83 season.

That's right, Philly.

You may soon enter the NBA record book as being part of the Los Angeles Sweep-peat, and there may not be a damn thing you can do about it.

Did you see the way the Lakers sent Portland packing 3-0 to get to the second round of the playoffs?

Did you watch how LA made Sacramento look like sad Sack-ra-mento with a 4-0 Shaq-lacking?

And there's no way you could have missed the way the Lake Show throttled the San Antonio Spurs in the final two games of their series by 39 and 29 points, respectively, to waltz through to the Finals 11-0.

Keep in mind these were the same Spurs who had the best regular-season record, the ones touting 7-foot-1 David Robinson and 7-foot Tim Duncan as the answer to Shaquille O' Neal.

Philly, you've got The Answer in Allen Iverson.

But with more players aching over banged-up body parts than the patients in an emergency room, it's going to take a miracle from God, Buddha and Allah combined for you to get past the Lakers.

In fact, the only conceivable way for you to win the best-of-seven series that starts Wednesday night at the Staples Center is if the defending champions don't show up. Or if Kobe and Shaq get kidnapped by a deranged Philly fanatic.

See, it's not that you're not a good team. You are a very good and resilient squad which might even steal a game from the well-rested Lakers.

We all know Iverson won the MVP award, Aaron McKie was named the Sixth Man of the Year and Larry Brown got the nod for Coach of the Year.

You even beat the Lakers on Valentine's Day no less. Ripped their hearts out by 15 points.

And after watching Al play with a messed-up hip, tailbone and knocked-out tooth and Eric Snow play on a fractured and sprained right ankle -- and not to mention the other 76ers who sacrificed their bodies and minds to get to the finals -- it's clear you have heart.

As much heart as Lance Armstrong, Martin Luther King and Mother Teresa put together.

But while Bubba Chuck is getting his points (something Kobe and Fisher will try to prevent), who will stop Shaq?

Dikembe Mutombo handled Ervin Johnson and Jason Caffey with relative ease. Guarding and penetrating on a Shaq Diesel who has had nine days of rest and is ready to devour his next opponent won't be so fun.

Who will contain Kobe from exploding for his 40 points?

Who will slow down Fisher and Brian Shaw from making 3-pointers?

Who can block out Shaq and Robert Horry and Horace Grant?

Who is gonna get by Rick Fox?

The Lakers pose too many questions for one man or team to answer. Even if the man has been The Answer all year for Philadelphia.

Hey, Philly -- runner-up doesn't have such a bad ring to it.