Columnist Ron Kantowski: NCAA hypocrites throw up another brick

Tuesday, July 31, 2001 | 10:23 a.m.

Ron Kantowski's notes column appears Tuesday. Reach him at ron@lasvegassun.com or 259-4088.

The way the NCAA conducts business reminds me of the way George Carlin once described the Catholic Church:

"They (the clergy) were always pushing for pain but we (the congregation) were always pulling for pleasure."

As a naive altar boy, I recall running an errand that required to me to enter the sanctity of the rectory on one Saturday afternoon. Father Pastor was sitting in a recliner that was three times the size of my old man's, watching Notre Dame on TV (the rectory had been outfitted with one of those gigantic antennas that could pull in Venus as well as the South Bend stations) with a six-pack of Old Style beer at his side.

Meanwhile, all the parishioners got was the regional Big Ten game out of Chicago (usually some lame matchup featuring Wisconsin, which was awful in those days).

Which brings to mind all this nonsense about the NCAA frowning on its members playing college basketball tournaments in Las Vegas, or at least within the walls of our casinos.

The NCAA is pursuing legislation that would ban its members from participating in events in casinos, such as the three holiday tournaments this year that were arranged -- with its blessing -- by an outside promoter for a ballroom at the Paris hotel-casino.

Hypocrites such as Purdue basketball coach Gene Keady have expressed outrage upon "learning" the games would be played within shouting distance of the blackjack tables. Yet, it wasn't three months ago that Keady attended a coaching clinic at the very same hotel.

You mean that it's OK for a coach to stay in a casino but not his players? What kind of double standard is that?

"You have to understand. My main emphasis is to win four games in this tournament to help us in our NCAA drive," said Keady, who told the Washington Post that he thought the games would be played at UNLV or "those gyms where they have the high school recruiting tournaments in July."

Yeah, right Gene. The Boilermakers are gonna play Cincinnati at the Green Valley High auxiliary gym. That's more outrageous than the crazy way you comb your hair.

"We need to win these games in order to qualify for the NCAA (Tournament)," Keady said, retreating on defense. "Is somebody questioning my integrity?"

Integrity, no. Intelligence, yes.

There have been tens of thousands of violations committed by college basketball programs over the years, and only about four of them have involved shaving points.

Like a colleague said, it's amazing that a business that polices itself as well as the sports gaming industry would want to have anything to do with college basketball, which polices itself like Barney Fife.

Not the other way around.

According to Spoelstra, the 51s have shown "a 50 percent increase in paid attendance this year."

Based on last year's average attendance of 4,477, that would mean the 51s are averaging a minimum of 6,712 paying customers this season. But according to the PCL website (and confirmed by a 51s spokesman), the 51s are averaging only 4,460 through 60 dates -- a tad off last year's middle-of-the-league pace and, of course, nowhere close to a 50 percent increase.

The 51s spin doctors immediately went to work, stating that by "paid attendance" the club actually meant "ticket revenue." Whatever.

Remind me never to buy a used car from a minor league baseball executive.

According to the New York Times, the average polo player is a 40-year old man who earns $184,000 a year. That's about the same salary one requires to buy one of Ralph's shirts off the racks.

So where's the problem? Why bite the hand that feeds you?

In a related story, the Water Polo Assn., fearing retribution from the Wilbur Post Foundation, said it also would be reconsidering its new logo -- a silhouette of Mr. Ed, wearing a goofy helmet and swimming trunks.

Maybe the Outlaws should have given Sanders a jersey that said "He Smoke Me" on the back.