Review: Planet of the Apes: Same old monkey fuzz

Geoff Carter

Wednesday, July 25, 2001 | 3:56 a.m.

Planet of the Apes

Grade: Two and one-half stars

Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Tim Roth, Helena Bonham Carter and Estella Warren.

Screenplay: William Broyles Jr., Lawrence Konner and Mark D. Rosenthal.

Director: Tim Burton.

Rated: PG-13 for some sequences of action/violence.

Running time: 120 minutes.

"All my life I've awaited your coming and dreaded it," says Dr. Zaius (Maurice Evans) to an armed Taylor (Charlton Heston) in Franklin J. Schaffner's "Planet of the Apes." The line still has a peculiar resonance, and not because it was spoken by a talking ape to the champion of the National Rifle Association (there's got to be a metaphor in there somewhere), but because all my life I've dreaded a remake.

Tim Burton's "re-imagining" of Schaffner's 1968 science fiction classic isn't radically different from its predecessor, all creativity posturing to the contrary. Both films begin with an alpha male astronaut crash-landing on a planet ruled by intelligent simians; both feature a pretty girl in a loincloth (Linda Harrison in the original, Estella Warren in the redux); both have high-camp "twist" endings. The two films even share dialogue. The only things setting them apart are advances in visual effects, stronger performances by the principals, and that the original film was - and remains -- curiously surprising.

The first act unfairly raises your hopes. We crash-land with astronaut Leo Davidson (Mark Wahlberg) on a strange planet partially inhabited by militant apes with faces articulated by legendary makeup artist Rick Baker; the other residents are caveman-like chumps with faces articulated by fear of being roped into a franchise. Most of the apes, goaded into frenzy by vicious General Thade (Tim Roth, vocally and physically unrecognizable) want to wipe the humans off the planet; a handful of sympathetic apes, embodied by Ari (Helena Bonham Carter), believe the two species can live together.

Wahlberg plays the part much lower to the ground than his predecessor did. There's something about Wahlberg's acting style that always makes me think he's borderline narcoleptic; outside of his frenzied turns in "Boogie Nights" and "The Basketball Diaries," he favors a soft delivery of all but the most hysterical of lines. He won't shout unless he means it. Director Burton takes full advantage of this; for the first 20 minutes of Wahlberg's time in the monkey house, he scarcely says a word. His eyes do all the talking, and screaming, too.

Wahlberg's quiet, "sensitive" nature draws Helena Bonham Carter's rebellious lady ape, thus beginning one of the strangest unrequited romances in modern film. Bonham Carter plays Ari with such human frailty and relish - she mumbles and averts her eyes shyly when Wahlberg addresses her - that she easily becomes the most appealing female presence in the film, even with Baker's layers of grotesque.

She may be able to win over Wahlberg, but she can't overcome a script that loses all its steam by the third act. As much as I love Tim Burton's work, he often wants for strong characters to give his story thrust. Michael Keaton's manic genius provided him with one in "Beetlejuice" and Batman; Johnny Depp and Martin Landau gave life to "Ed Wood."

With his actors playing shell-shocked - or covered with layers of fur - no one has a chance to give "Apes" the much-needed kick it needs to reach its final, decisive moment. The film looks and feels great, like faux fur -- but it begins to itch after 45 minutes. If an itch you can't scratch isn't cause for dread, what is?