Letter: An offer to lead deplorable DMV

Friday, July 20, 2001 | 4:47 a.m.

I wish to apply publicly for the position of head of Nevada's Department of Motor Vehicles and Public Safety, held by Richard Kirkland. I feel that I could do the job just as he has. I could create real confusion and irritation for the citizens of Nevada by maintaining waiting lines that extend out the doors of the DMVs throughout the state.

The resulting "line rage" could carry over into the home and cause spousal abuse and dog kicking on the part of those made to stand in those lines for hour after hour. Next, I promise to continue to frustrate and anger and annoy the workers at the DMV by making their jobs as irritating as possible in dealing not only with the irate public, but also by extending hours and increasing work loads and also sending out petty orders about equipment that does not work.

But my most marvelous contribution will be my total lack of computerization. I could cause the system to crash on a regular basis by having equipment and programs installed that are totally unsuited for the job.

I'm a retired Clark County School District teacher, and I'd be glad to accept double-dipping remuneration the size of Mr. Kirkland's as head of the DMV.

JOANN K. SLADE