Friday, July 20, 2001 | 4:43 a.m.
Sandy Thompson is vice president/associate editor of the Las Vegas Sun. She can be reached at 259-4025 or e-mail at [email protected]
CLAYTON GILES believes that children of separation and divorce must have a voice in court decisions affecting them.
The 14-year-old's belief is so strong that earlier this year he went on a 19-day hunger strike until a judge listened to him. Now he is on a 3,600-mile walking and biking crusade from Canada to Washington, D.C., collecting signatures on petitions to change divorce and custody laws.
Today, which is International Parents Day, he was scheduled to cross the Canadian-U.S. border at Niagara Falls, where he was to be met by a group of supporters and advocates for change in family law.
In a phone interview while on the road, the Canadian teenager says he hopes to present the petitions to President Bush in September and return home to meet with the Canadian prime minister to give him petitions signed by Canadians.
Clayton hopes they will lead the charge to change divorce laws to favor shared parenting and to give all children a voice in divorce proceedings.
Except in cases of documented abuse, access to both parents is the right of every child, Clayton writes in his website, www.legalkids.com. "It is fundamental to our emotional well-being that we maintain a strong and loving relationship with both our parents. ... When our parents separate, we do not separate from them," he writes. "What our parents say about each other should have no bearing on our access. ... When the court takes away our access to punish a parent, the court is punishing us."
When Clayton was 4, his parents divorced, and his mother was awarded sole custody of Clayton and his sister. Over the next few years, he saw his father less and less. Then, when he was 8, he did not see his father at all for three years because of a Canadian court order.
"That was the hardest time of my life," he says. "I was in deep psychological pain. I was depressed and thinking of suicide. I got into fights at school. My grades fell."
A judge then ordered that Clayton see his dad on alternate weekends. "That was not enough," the teen says. "I wanted equal time."
Because the judge wouldn't listen to him, Clayton ran away to his father's house. Last January he went on a 19-day hunger strike. That got the judge's attention, and in March his father won custody of the teen.
During his hunger strike, Clayton received e-mail from children throughout the world saying they wished their parents and courts would listen to them, too.
"We want to speak and be heard, in person or through a specifically trained individual at any proceedings where a decision will be made about parental access or custody ... because such decisions change our lives forever," Clayton writes.
He also advocates a forum that's less adversarial than a courtroom.
Clayton says his mother did not encourage joint custody because she was blinded by her feelings against his father. "She was trying to hurt my dad, but indirectly was hurting me," the teen says.
Today he does not see his mother "by choice." He acknowledges that a parent who pits a child against the other parent sometimes ends up losing the child in later years.
As Clayton walks and rides his bicycle on his "Journey for Kids," his father trails him in an RV. Clayton says he did not expect the overwhelming response he has received along the way. "I didn't realize it's an international problem," he says.
Children are not property to be divided or a prize to be awarded, Clayton writes, adding: "Granting sole custody to one of our parents guarantees that we will be drawn into the conflict between them."
Changes to divorce laws, he says, "will only occur if legislators are convinced that such changes are desired by the majority of people. Journey for Kids seeks to unite the people into one powerful voice which will compel our legislators to make such changes."
Here's one change that can be implemented immediately: Attach photos of children involved in a custody case to the cover of the court file. They will be a constant reminder to the judge, attorneys and -- especially -- parents that they are in court for the sole purpose of acting in the best interest of the child.
Godspeed, Clayton.
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