Columnist John Katsilometes: Warning: This resort is no Oasis

Monday, July 2, 2001 | 8:21 a.m.

John Katsilometes is the Sun features editor. His column appears Mondays. Reach him at kats@lasvegassun.com or 259-2327.

The place should be affixed with a warning label. Several, in fact:

Warning: Anyone occupying and enjoying the main adult swimming pool risks being bum-rushed from the water by a hefty rent-a-cop wielding a pop gun and the flimsy excuse that a lifeguard took an early out.

Or ...

Warning: The baked potato listed on the Steakhouse menu might or might not be available, depending on if the kitchen had the keen foresight to order enough baked potatoes to last two-thirds of a weekend.

Or ...

Warning: Do not expect to pay for your room with a debit card, even if you reserved the room with a debit card. Do not expect to be notified of this edict until reading a small sign at the registration desk reading "We Don't Accept Debit Cards" after you've waited in line for several minutes. Do not expect to have your spot on line or at the counter returned to you after visiting an ATM to pay for your room with cash. Do not expect anyone to sympathize with you after you've blown your daily ATM cash withdrawal limit on the room rate, leaving you with no cash on hand until midnight (at the Oasis).

Or ...

Warning: Be prepared for lax service throughout the establishment, and to encounter a staff that couldn't be less congenial if it were on the Bataan Death March.

A quick review is in order for this pack-o'-smokes hotel, Si Redd's Oasis in Mesquite. I wondered about the Fairness Issues in specifically identifying this laughably misnamed hotel-casino. Then I thought, no one at the (cough) Oasis seemed to take fairness into account when systemically screwing up our two-night, three-day stay a couple of weekends ago.

What's happening at the Oasis is an acute case of Turnoveritis. The buzz around Mesquite is that the employees are essentially in robo-mode ever since it was announced that the town's chief casino owner, Randy Black, would soon seize control of the Oasis.

To you and me, who might be occasional visitors to Mesquite, it means that the Oasis staff is fearing/assuming massive layoffs and has ceased to care about hotel guests. It's that simple. Employees admitted as much to us as we asked such rudimentary questions as, "Where might we find a swimming pool where we can actually swim?" Upon hearing this, a typically lethargic staff member in dire need of a shot of B-12 (or something stronger) scrawled a phone number so we could register a complaint. Then she said, "A lot of people have been complaining and all we can do is give you this number and maybe they'll listen to you."

Maybe? We were just run from an adult swimming facility and told that not only was that pool being shut down because the lifeguard was MIA, but the other large pool area was booked for a private party. However, we could swim in the smaller kiddie pool, which had no lifeguard on duty but was teeming with little kids with unblown noses in full vacation frenzy. There were no pool towels offered, either, and my guess is they were snapped up by disenfranchised employees and made into surrender flags.

Someday after Black's people storm in and clean house (in every which way), the Oasis might be worthy of its name. But these days it's a mirage -- and it's no Mirage, trust me.