Columnist Susan Snyder: Entering 2001 with resolve

Tuesday, Jan. 2, 2001 | 9:10 a.m.

Susan Snyder's column appears Tuesdays, Sundays and Fridays. Reach her at snyder@lasvegassun.com or 259-4082.

Well, 2001 is about 17 hours old. How many resolutions have you already broken?

The answer likely is none, if you're as diligent about making resolutions as the handful of people I randomly surveyed late last week.

"I don't make any," said the woman who tallied my dry-cleaning bill. "I don't even think about it."

In fact, it seemed the only people talking about how to make and keep New Year's resolutions last Friday were news-media types interviewing "experts" on the subject.

Let's face it. Most of us already have too much stress and too many commitments. The last thing we want or need is another rule or obligation.

If you believe what you read, the U.S. population is the most overworked, least-vacationing group of poor saps of any industrialized nation in the world. If it takes more than 35 seconds and a cell phone, we're not going to do it.

And how many of these resolutions are actually possible anyway?

For many of us, losing weight is only going to happen with a tapeworm. The closets aren't going to get cleaned out unless there's a fire. And we aren't going to read the instruction book that came with the DVD player we got for Christmas, let alone settle down to that 2001 reading list (which, incidentally, is the same one we've had since 1996).

Maybe we should stop making resolutions for ourselves and make them for other people instead. After all, how many of us are going to take a really critical look at ourselves and choose something constructive?

It's far easier to take a hard look at someone else's foibles. And it's way more fun.

Don't think so?

Michael McDonald.

See?

We resolve that McDonald will take his little tape recorder, his odd ideas about ethics and slip quietly into the background in 2001.

People who mess with their cell phones while driving: We resolve that you people will stop doing this now and forever. You will stop mindlessly steering your SUVs into neighboring lanes while deeply engrossed in conversations with the people you are meeting at Starbucks in 10 minutes anyway.

People who talk during movies: The theater is not your living room. We resolve that if your child is too young to understand the film, you will leave him at home and not force the rest of us $8-a-ticket patrons to endure the ongoing explanations he needs. And you will leave the cell phone in the car.

Motorists who turn right on top of pedestrians who have walk signals or green lights: We resolve that this piggish, self-absorbed behavior will cease in the Las Vegas Valley in 2001.

People who speed in school zones: We resolve that Metro Police will give these people many expensive traffic tickets.

Neonopolis: Nah. Too easy.

The Hermitage-Guggenheim museums scheduled to open at the Venetian: We resolve to remember they are bringing outside attractions to the Strip and not necessarily doing anything to promote Las Vegas' local arts district.

Now if you find you still need to make a resolution you can keep, try this: Ditch anything that added nothing positive to your life or your community in 2000.

It might be easier than you think.