Columnist Susan Snyder: Recalling a very Mary conversation

Tuesday, Feb. 6, 2001 | 8:42 a.m.

Susan Snyder's column appears Tuesdays, Fridays and Sundays. Reach her at snyder@vegas.com or 259-4082.

The world could use a few more Marys.

I don't know Mary's last name because it isn't on her name tag. She works in a Las Vegas drug store run by one of those national chains. They all look pretty much the same, whether you're in Peoria or Pahrump.

I stopped in on my way to work last week to buy some mascara. At my age naturally long lashes come in a tube. I was desperate and late for work.

I grabbed a tube and turned to the register, where a woman with a bright, cheerful voice said, "I'll ring you up right here, Sweetie, when you're ready."

Mary made an effort. So I made one.

"Got up this morning and couldn't find my eyelashes," I mumbled.

Mary pointed to the almost invisible blond hairs on her forearm and said, "I know what you mean. This is what mine look like. It's awful."

She admired my necklace. I liked her earrings, and pretty soon we were jabbering about American Indian jewelry and where to find it. I told her about a cool little shop in Boulder City, and she asked where Boulder City was.

"I just moved here a week ago," Mary said. "From Missouri."

She rolled her eyes when she said Missouri. It's not an exciting place to be from, she said. I told her she should try telling people she moved here from Utah, as I did. Talk about odd reactions.

Mary lived in Illinois, Wisconsin and Tennessee before moving to Missouri and landing here. She came with her 19-year-old son, who borrows her new Nissan Sentra for cruising around town.

Las Vegas motorists move fast, and that worries her some. Being 19, her son already drives faster than a mother would want. And now he's tearing around Vegas in her brand-new car.

Mary is trying to convince her fiance to move here. He has a trick knee that gives him fits in Missouri's damp, bitter winters. She thinks Las Vegas' dry climate will help him. It's already helped her sinus problems, which is why she moved here.

She figures he'll come around soon. But some of her old friends just can't imagine living here.

"My girlfriend has never been anywhere except Oklahoma, where her husband's family lives," Mary said. "She says Las Vegas is a terrible place because the people are so mean. And she's never even been here. "I think everybody's been so friendly," she added. "You get what you give out, you know? If you come here being a crab, then that's what you'll get back."

We talked about making friends and seeing the West. Mary wants to visit Utah, California and the Grand Canyon. She says she'll start with Boulder City.

Our entire exchange took less than 10 minutes, but the feelings of goodwill lasted all day. Not a bad return on an investment.

Some urban planners call cities like ours a nightmare. Huge streets with fast cars, walled communities, strip malls and warehouse stores aren't built on a human scale, they say.

Maybe we shouldn't wait for builders to do that for us. Maybe we can frame our lives in a more human scale with a little eye contact and conversation. Works for Mary.

Bring us more Marys.

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