Attitude Adjustment

Kimberley McGee

Monday, Dec. 24, 2001 | 8:03 a.m.

Eric Wilson was a shy little boy who was intimidated by playground antics.

The typical teasing of children would hurt the then-6-year-old boy.

"He took teasing very literally," Theresa Wilson, Eric's mother, said.

His parents and teachers worried. Eric hit, pouted and sulked. He wasn't happy.

Last spring Wilson asked for help and was told by a pediatrician about a program that taught youngsters how to cope with feelings of anger instead of battling them.

That's when Eric entered Camp MakeBelieve.

The northwest Las Vegas educational program is a place where children learn the language of feelings, said Pam Goldberg, a licensed marriage and family therapist and creator of Camp MakeBelieve.

"They become sophisticated in expressing their emotions," Goldberg said. "We teach them to talk, not hit or be impolite."

Through art projects and group discussions the program helps children ages 5-10 learn how to relax, understand their emotions and become more social and confident, she said.

Generally there are 10-12 children in each group. The total cost is $380 for eight weekly sessions.

The program is open to any child, but children are usually referred to the program by school counselors, pediatricians and word-of-mouth. Goldberg works one-on-one with children who have a hard time responding to the program.

Goldberg recently wrote "Become a Master of Self-Control with the Kids of Camp MakeBelieve" (1st Books Publishing, $19.95, 2001), which details the fundamentals of the 5-year-old after-school camp.

The book relates stories about fictional children who face real-life situations on the playground, in the park, at home or a friend's house.

Through reading and discussion of stories in the book, along with completing the exercises in an accompanying workbook, Goldberg said parents can understand their children better and children can learn to feel safe and secure when relating to their parents and their environment.

The exercises also give parents a chance to teach their children emotional skills that can help them for the rest of their lives, Goldberg said, such as how to deal with stress or cope with disappointment -- skills that may come in handy during the holiday season.

"It can be hard. Not everybody gets what they want for Christmas," Goldberg said. "Or in life, right?"

Building blocks

Goldberg started to work with children in the early '90s at the State of Nevada Child and Adolescent Services department, as a graduate-studies intern at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas. She was with the department until 1997.

As part of her internship she oversaw group-counseling sessions with troubled children. What she witnessed was children speaking shyly with counselors and not interacting well with the other children.

Goldberg thought there was a better way.

"We spent a lot of time talking, but also a lot of time doing art projects, role playing, things that enhance their self-esteem," she said. "We were painting as we learned to express our feelings appropriately."

The idea behind Camp MakeBelieve is that children will learn more from each other than when their parents talk to them, Goldberg said.

"They (children) tune out parents and teachers," she said. "But when another child points out negative behavior, they learn so quick."

At Camp MakeBelieve positive behavior is rewarded while negative behavior is ignored.

Children who get up and wander around during the group session while others are talking or who act out are largely ignored by the camp counselor. Instead, special attention and rewards are given to children who are following the rules.

During group discussions Goldberg gives children hypothetical situations, such as when a younger brother won't share a toy, or a classmate calls another child a name.

"They talk about how they would feel and give each other advice," she said.

Through art projects, Goldberg teaches children how to tune into their feelings, she said.

"The thing about kids (that) parents might not realize is that when they are doing hands-on stuff and you aren't focusing on them, that frees them up, it lets their guard down," Goldberg said. "It gives them the opportunity to relax and talk more about problems in their lives."

Confident children open up to their parents about life on the playground or at home, Goldberg said. Talking to their parents can alleviate pent-up frustrations or fears, she said.

"Once a child realizes that they can express themselves, they enjoy using the words and tools they learned (at Camp MakeBelieve)," Goldberg said. "They gain social skills and then can reach out to friends or (siblings)."

Clark County School District counselor Kathy Shovlin worked with Goldberg at Nevada Child Services in the early '90s. She has watched Goldberg fine-tune the Camp MakeBelieve program.

Shovlin has recently begun to refer elementary school students who continually are sent to the principal's office to Camp MakeBelieve.

"It's definitely child-friendly," Shovlin said. "It teaches kids the ABC's of self-control."

The child-filled classes also boost self-esteem through interaction with children working on the same issues, Shovlin said.

"They know they have problems maybe controlling themselves," Shovlin said. "This way they don't feel so alone, so isolated. They can know they can do something about their behavior and that there's nothing weird about them. They are OK."

How to spell relief

When Eric entered Camp MakeBelieve earlier this year, he said he was shy at first. But as he settled in and the art projects got more involved, he relaxed with his campmates, other children his age, and got down to business.

When he was frustrated he told his mother why he felt like yelling. When his younger brother, Domonic, would irritate him, he'd let the anger slide -- usually.

The consequences were minor compared to those when he would act out his anger, he said. After a few weeks in the program Eric said he was more apt to talk about his problems than before.

"I learned to express my feelings and I like being able to express my feelings," Eric, now 7, said. "It wasn't scary a bit. What can a little talking do?"

Chris Foxx and his wife, Julie, of Las Vegas heard about Camp MakeBelieve three years ago. Their then-8-year-old son, Camden, would throw tantrums and yell at his younger brother, Evan.

"I felt bad," Camden recalled.

Camden would holler when his brother would commandeer his favorite toys or call him names. "I couldn't control my anger," he said.

His parents enrolled him in Camp MakeBelieve in the summer of 1998. Camden said he began to feel more in control of his emotions.

"I learned that we had to control my anger, how not to get into fights," Camden said. "It felt better."

Camden no longer attends Camp MakeBelieve. But the experience had an effect on his behavior, Chris Foxx said.

"Through Camp MakeBelieve he learned that it's OK not to get your way," Foxx said. "When he knows he's going into a (tantrum), he has so many devices he learned so that he doesn't go there anymore."

Camden agrees.

"If he (Evan) broke one of my toys or something I would call him all kinds of names, like 'butthead,' that weren't polite," Camden said. "But now if he calls me names or something I don't get mad. And he gets in trouble for being (bad)."

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