Columnist Susan Snyder: Peeps only an exercise in puffery

Friday, April 13, 2001 | 3:31 a.m.

Susan Snyder's column also appears Tuesdays and Fridays in the Las Vegas Sun. Reach her at snyder@lasvegassun.com or 259-4082.

Happy Easter.

Pass the Peeps.

To someone else.

Preferably in another state.

I have never understood the American public's attraction to these pastel puffs of polyester pulp. Lash enough of them together, and you have a Peeps Personal Flotation Device (a PPFD in mariners' circles).

Tape them to your kid's knees and save money on skateboard pads. Sending crystal to a far-off place? Pack it in Peeps for keeps.

But eat them? Eeesh.

Peeps have been around since 1953 when Just Born Inc. acquired a candy-making company in Lancaster, Pa. In those days it took 27 hours to make a single, hand-squeezed Peep. I suspect the little devil is still out there somewhere.

Today's Peeps pop out in about six minutes, according to Just Born's website. They press 3.8 million powdered plugs a day in the company's Bethlehem, Pa., factory. And Peeps now come in hues of white purple, pink and blue (an especially horrifying development). And there are Easter rabbits and Peeps for all holidays, in addition to the original yellow chicks.

So I conducted a totally unscientific Peeps on the Streets public opinion poll designed to do little more than fill this space and satisfy my own odd curiosity about people's Peeps attraction.

The first unsuspecting Peeps poll person was Pamela over at the drug store where I purchased a pack of purple Peeps. (How many purple Peeps can Peter Piper pack?) I asked whether she was partial to Peeps.

"No ma'am," she said glancing up to make sure I wasn't pulling anything weirder than a wallet from my bag. "I've never even tried them. My kids don't eat them either. They look at them, but they don't eat them."

That would lead us to believe that even those who don't prefer Peeps still buy Peeps because they are suitable Easter basket decor.

My mother gave us Peeps for the same reason. I fed one to our fox terrier one year. We found it under the sofa four months later while searching for a jigsaw puzzle piece.

Of course, he would actually eat those.

However, Tom and Gail Nagle, of Las Vegas, would greet Easter without spring before they'd celebrate it without Peeps.

"In 25 years we've always had Peeps," Tom Nagle said.

"I don't even eat candy the rest of the year. But I have to have Peeps," Gail Nagle added. "They have to be yellow and it has to be Easter."

Now Tom, who used to work for the Secret Service, says there is a proper way to to eat a Peeps -- or rather, a Peep. He calls it the "four-bite protocol."

Told you he worked for the federal government.

"You bite the head off first, then the tail and then the body -- in two bites," he said. "Gail just stuffs them in her mouth."

So we have one for, one against. The only suitable tie-breaker seemed to be old E. Bunny him- -- or in this case her- -- self. So I went to the Galleria at Sunset and asked the Big Rabbit whether she likes Peeps.

"Well, they're all right," she said in a tone that implied I was wearing the silly rabbit suit. "I like the yellow ones, I guess."

And only the chicks, of course.