Where I Stand — Mike O’Callaghan: Few miles but long wait

Thursday, Sept. 14, 2000 | 10:05 a.m.

Mike O'Callaghan is the Las Vegas Sun executive editor.

It wasn't much, but it was certainly a positive step last month when 100 North Koreans and 100 South Koreans went to the opposite ends of the peninsula to visit relatives. I say it wasn't much because 76,000 South Koreans applied for the opportunity to see family members now living in the north. The 100 were chosen by a national lottery from among the applicants who haven't seen family members since the Communist forces of Kim Il Sung invaded South Korea June 25, 1950.

The reports coming from this recent visitor exchange sound like the visits were structured in both travel and numbers of relatives they could visit. Maybe the next exchange planned for September will see the gradual easing of restrictions and eventually open travel between the families living in the two Koreas.

The emotional meeting of people who have longed for each other for a half a century reflects the strong ties of Korean families. Americans who don't know these people probably gave little thought to the embraces flashed across television and published in newspapers. The agreement between the Soviet Union and the United States to divide Korea following the defeat of Japan, then occupying that country, set up the makings of a bloody war five years later. That war was equal in pain and blood suffered by our own nation's Civil War. It was brother against brother and father against son in too many cases.

The strength of Korean family bonds is reflected by the thousands at both ends of the peninsula who have been thinking about those they haven't seen for 50 years. Both in the north and south families and villages responded to the opportunity to again hold mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters and cousins.

Dr. Donald K. Chung, a talented Korean-American physician living in California, returned to North Korea after leaving his family behind in 1950. Chung's journey was a long one, including combat service with the Republic of Korea against Kim Il Sung's invaders, medical school, marriage and eventual U.S. citizenship. It was a hard journey that was only successful because of the man's intelligence and personal courage.

A young Chung writes about the pain of leaving his sisters and mother in the north: "Desperately we clung to one another in the open doorway of the house, my fear mounting with each passing moment. I sensed this might be my last opportunity to evade the dreaded Security Police. I knew I had to leave. For the first time in my life I berated my beloved mother. My voice was harsh though my instincts longed to gather this tiny specter in my arms and shield her from all the world's ills.

" 'Didn't I tell you it's only for three days? I'll be back in three days, and then we can live together in peace forever.' Then, gently but firmly, I pushed her away from me, back into the house."

That promise wasn't fulfilled for 33 years when Chung returned as a medical lecturer to visit his three sisters and the grave of their mother. This was the basis for his book, "The Three Day Promise," published in 1989. It's a disturbing and sensitive account of everything from the rape of his sister by Soviet soldiers to the friendship of a Baptist preacher in the United States. The profits from the book were donated for the building of the Korean War Memorial in Washington, D.C. Chung's $400,000 was the largest individual contribution to the memorial.

"The Three Day Promise" should be read by people wanting to better understand the strength of Korean society based upon family relationships. It also reveals some of the same feelings and observations recent family visitors have expressed since returning from North Korea. The north is not a happy place and is strictly structured with few physical comforts or opportunities for the general public and workers. Despite this, the warmth and strength of families continue to hold it together.

The people torn apart by the war are aging rapidly and are fewer in number every day. The time to make family visits for all of them possible is now -- not next year or the following year. I have come to know the Koreans as tough and competitive people in both war and business. This toughness may be impressive, but I have also come to realize their real strength is in their family relationships.