Personal freedom: Local prisoners seek the meaning of life in Zen

Thursday, Sept. 7, 2000 | 9:52 a.m.

A handful of inmates locked behind the razor-wire fences of the Federal Prison Camp at Nellis Air Force Base have found a way to escape.

It is not by digging a tunnel or scaling the chain-link walls or hiding in a garbage truck.

Their way out of the minimum security lock-up is down the path of Zen, a 2,500-year-old-way of meditating that practitioners say leads to enlightenment -- the discovery of life's meaning and purpose.

"In a way, we are all locked in a prison wherever we are," said Brian Warren Kloski, 42, who has one year left on his 10-year sentence for selling drugs. "We are prisoners of our own mind."

Kloski is one of a fluctuating number of inmates who take part in Zen Buddhist practice every Monday evening at the camp's chapel. The number who attend, which ranges from about five-15, varies because of paroles and the completion of sentences.

The practice is led by Thom Pastor, senior teacher with the local Kwan Um School of Zen at the Mohave Desert Zen Center and secretary treasurer of the Las Vegas Musicians Union. He has been going to the prison each week for the past 18 months, ever since inmates were granted a request for someone to teach them the ways of Zen.

"A lot of what the inmates do is repetitive and mundane and they find that through Zen practice, by paying attention to the moment (as Zen teaches), that anything and everything they do, from brushing their teeth to doing the dishes, they do it with meticulous attention," Pastor said. "Zen teaches that each moment has its own precision" and purpose."

"What we practice at the prison as a group is to attain this mind that doesn't look to the past, doesn't cling to the past or project to the future, but comes back to the now."

Six men joined one recent session, which usually involves a discussion about Zen, reading from the Buddha Sutras (scriptures) and meditating while either sitting in a circle or walking around the room single file.

"In Zen practice, we say, 'Put it all down -- your 'I,' 'my,' and 'me,' " Pastor, wearing his monk's attire, said to the gathering. "When we meditate we are getting rid of the 'self.' "

Focusing on the "self" rather than what is happening at the moment is the cause of most suffering, Pastor said.

"This world is an ocean of suffering," he said. "You have lost a loved one, or you are in prison. None of us escape the suffering. But Buddah teaches us that most suffering comes from a 'desire mind,' not physical pain. The wanting of things to be other than what they are causes suffering.

"We think happiness will be ours if we just have this object, or that object, if only this will happen or that will happen -- this is an 'attachment' mind. Suffering comes from asking, 'Why is this happening to me?' "

Different programs

Prison chaplain Father Frank Tinajero said Zen practice, which he has seen at many of the major institutions across the country, is a good way for the inmates to "slow down and come to a deeper awareness of their reality and themselves."

Tinajero said convicts involved in religious programs are less likely to return to prison than those who ignore the spiritual side of life. About 150 of the 550 inmates at the Las Vegas prison camp take part in religious ceremonies.

"All of our programs enable the guys to take a good look at themselves, spiritually and holistically," Tinajero said.

Access to most religions while in prison is guaranteed by the federal Religious Freedom Restoration Act, Tinajero said.

"Basically, the act is about trying to accommodate people's religious beliefs," he said. "In the old days only recognized religions were allowed to practice, but with this Act, it assures all people have the right to practice their faith."

Even pagans -- who practice a religion based on many gods -- are free to worship in prison.

Requests to be allowed to practice a particular religion must be approved by the warden, or someone higher up the chain of command. Tinajero said he knows of one inmate who was allowed to practice Satanism.

Also, a Native American sweat lodge, used by many tribes as part of their religious practice, was recently built at the prison on the air force base.

"We've had sweat lodges throughout the Bureau (of Prisons) for a long time," Tinajero said. "The (Native American inmates) even have their own minister, a medicine man."

Seeking truth

Kloski, who grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area, says he has been interested in Buddhism and other Eastern religions most of his life.

"As a young adult, in my early 20s, I was not interested in money," Kloski said. "I drifted around the country ... I was a wanderer, a seeker of truth. I stayed at temples and monasteries and did menial labor, like food service jobs."

Eventually, he said, he began selling marijuana and LSD to earn what little money he needed to live on.

"I used drugs to open awareness and I ignored the negative aspects of it. I figured others could handle the responsibility, like me," Kloski said.

When he is released, Kloski said he intends to earn money by investing in the stock market. "Now my path is to become more mature, and having financial security will help."

Nicholas Ford, 30, has been practicing Zen for five months. He said its teachings and meditation help him cope with the stress of prison life.

"I'm hyperactive and Zen has helped me to relax (by focusing on the moment)," Ford, who is serving time for telemarketing fraud, said. "Through Zen meditation, there is a clearing of the mind. We learn nonattachment. (Because of that) I have been able to separate out a lot of issues -- in a way, it's therapy for me.

"It's easy to get stuck thinking negative thoughts (in prison). Zen helps me get out of that."

Ford said through Zen meditation he has gotten rid of the "clutter" in his mind -- the negative thoughts and thoughts that focus on himself and his problems.

Paul Lew, 51, was born into a Buddhist family in China that immigrated to San Francisco when he was 12 years old.

"My religion has always been Buddhism," said Lew, who instigated the move to establish the Zen classes at the prison 18 months ago. He will be released at the end of next year, after spending four years at the camp.

Meditation, Lew said, helps him clear his mind and to get rid of the anger that often builds up in prison.

"(During meditation) you forget everything for the time being and put yourself in a good, calm position," he said.

Zen and I

Pastor said Zen teaches that all of us "come into this world empty-handed and leave empty-handed. If we are caught up so much in the 'I, my, me,' there are problems."

And sometimes the problems lead to prison.

"There is a much thinner line between the personality of someone who ends up in prison and someone on the outside than you might think," Pastor said before the start of the Zen session.

He said most of those in the prison camp are there for white-collar crimes.

"They were involved in some sort of self-aggrandizement, some sort of manipulative plan dealing with the stock market or telemarketing or something ... all of it tied to 'I, my, me.' They were trying to create something through manipulation that would make them happy.

"If you put that down, you can be in business and make a lot of money, but you are not so much attached to the end result that you lose the correct function of what you are right now.

"The search for truth, wisdom and freedom begins and ends in this moment. If you are holding on to any idea of how things are, of how things ought to be -- holding any idea, any opinion at all, then you will have a problem. You cannot connect with this world. But, if you lay it all down, all your ideas, all opinions, then the truth is right in front of your eyes: the sky is blue, the tree is green, sugar is sweet, salt is salty. That's all. That's enough. That is Buddhism."

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