‘Tiger Jam’ marked with uneven acts

Geoff Carter

Tuesday, Oct. 10, 2000 | 10:28 a.m.

"I'm not here tonight to talk," said Tiger Woods. "I'm here tonight to listen."

If the latter statement is accurate, I'm worried about our favorite duffer's ears. From the looks of the huge crowd that attended "Tiger Jam III" -- a benefit show for the celebrity golfer's youth charity organization, held Saturday night at the Mandalay Bay Event Center -- Woods managed to talk to all the right people, but the listening part sliced right into the rough.

Some parts weren't all that bad. Seal was magnificent, as always -- I maintain that the British singer/songwriter is this generation's Barry White -- but his four-song acoustic set seemed to end before it began. LeAnn Rimes has the biggest set of pipes in country music, but uses them to broadcast junk. And as for Christina Aguilera ... hey, did I mention that "Tiger Jam III" raised a lot of money for childrens' charities?

The bulk of the show belonged to Rimes. Seal's set barely broke 20 minutes, Aguilera's 40 -- but Rimes vamped for more than hour, and managed to incorporate covers of "Purple Rain," "Me and Bobby McGee" and "Superstition." When she broke into "Amazing Grace," I fully expected "The Star-Spangled Banner" to follow. That's the kind of set it was.

Which isn't to say that she couldn't have pulled it off. Rimes is the Steve Perry of young country -- her voice is a soaring, humbling instrument, but she's squandering it. Her choice of material, particularly the Dianne Warren songs she sang for "Coyote Ugly," are egregious pop tripe, not to be sung by a professional. Her stab at a self-penned original, "Sweet Taste of You," didn't go down any easier; it just demonstrated that Rimes wants some of the money Aguilera is raking in.

Rimes could be a truly great talent, a rocker for the ages. But in order to do so she's going to have to make some choices that could lose her half of her fan base, and I don't think she's prepared to do that -- the girl mentioned the highest chart position of nearly every song she performed.

Teenager or no, Rimes is going to have to come to terms with the beast she's made in her own image -- a snake-hipped, would-be rock libertine that's got a foot planted on both sides of the door. With a voice like Patsy Cline and a pouty sexuality that recalls Madonna's early hey-you persona, why on Earth why she want to pick songs from the bottom of the pile? LeAnn, call Wayne "The Train" Hancock; he'll set you up.

Aguilera has no such options. I've often heard it said that Aguilera is the most talented of the ex-"Mickey Mouse Club" brood, but let me tell you something: Annette Funicello could have drop-kicked her from Anaheim to Orlando. Aguilera is contemptuous of her audience, mumbles her stage patter and has adopted Mariah Carey's unfortunate habit of singing as if she's being paid by the melisma.

Aguilera's encore was particularly telling. Even as she launched into her monster hit "What a Girl Wants," audience members crowded the exits, goaded beyond endurance. Talented though he is, Woods himself couldn't have corrected "Tiger Jam III's" final, unfortunate swing.