Columnist Sandra Thompson: Children have right to not be abused

Sandra Thompson

Saturday, Oct. 7, 2000 | 2:44 a.m.

Sandy Thompson is vice president/associate editor of the Las Vegas Sun. She can be reached at 259-4025 or e-mail at thompson@lasvegassun.com

YESTERDAY: A broken nose, fractured cheekbone, a punch in the face, shattered glasses.

Today: Fear, frustration, panic, despair.

Tomorrow: Death?

"The pattern is so obvious to anyone with half a brain in their head," says Tom, whose daughter and grandchildren have been abused, stalked and harassed by his ex-son-in-law.

Yes, the pattern is obvious -- except to some judges who seem uncomfortable about and unsure of how to handle domestic violence cases.

Tom's son-in-law has been convicted of stalking and harassment. Evidence of physical abuse and intimidation was presented to a Family Court judge and virtually ignored, Tom says. Now the third judge to hear the case will preside next week over yet another hearing on a request for a restraining order to protect the two children, Tom says.

The children, both younger than 14, desperately want to speak to the judge. So far, Family Court hasn't listened, but a criminal court did when it subpoenaed the children to testify about their father's attacks on their mother. How can their view be important in one court and not another?

They are not only witnesses to the violence, but victims of it. One child called 911 after he was assaulted by his dad. Nothing happened -- except more verbal and emotional abuse was heaped on the child.

"Let's say to hell with the mom and dad," Tom says. "What about the kids? Nobody's listening to them."

Is it time for a new paradigm on the best interest of the child, especially in light of domestic violence?

That was the topic of a panel discussion at the recent conference of the National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges, which I attended in Utah.

"In a new custody paradigm, kids have a right to safety, security and stability," said Jacqui Bowman, associate director of Greater Boston Legal Services. "We make the child's rights superior to the parents'."

When courts intervene in these cases, they redistribute control and end the batterer's power to make rules for the abused spouse and children.

Bowman and other panel speakers noted that judges should be more attuned to children's needs in these cases. In addition to parenting plans and custody arrangements, the children may require intervention, such as safety planning and a discussion on how they can protect themselves. Plans should assess the risk of violence.

Bowman commented that joint custody should not be awarded to batterers. There also should be generous relocation awards for domestic violence victims to start new lives.

"We need attorneys who understand the dynamics of domestic violence," she said.

Judges also need to understand those dynamics. To that end, the National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges is setting up judicial training programs. There also has been discussion at Clark County Family Court about more training for judges.

With all the publicity and national consciousness-raising (October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month in Nevada), you'd think the legal system would be better equipped to properly deal with these cases, especially with regard to custody and keeping children out of harm's way.

Yes, there often are false allegations of domestic violence, especially in bitter custody disputes. But how can you overlook a broken jaw or black eye? If judges dismiss that evidence, they certainly aren't going to want to hear about psychological or emotional abuse inflicted on children.

Bowman characterized psychological maltreatment of a child as:

"Abusive homes breed abusers," Tom says, worrying about the behavior patterns his grandchildren are learning.

Hopefully this week, the judge will do the right thing for the sake of his frightened grandchildren who have been smacked around and thrown down stairs because of one man's inability to control his rage.

Give these children the upper hand this time.