Columnist Susan Snyder: A city by any other name

Tuesday, Nov. 28, 2000 | 9:39 a.m.

Susan Snyder's column appears Sundays, Tuesdays and Fridays. Reach her at snyder@lasvegassun.com or 259-4082.

Hurry, hurry!

You have only two more days to submit suggested names for Las Vegas' northwest region, which encompasses Ward 6. Our city officials need your help.

Trust me on this one. I've seen the list -- all 426 nominations.

City officials need your help.

These name-the-whatever contests always present an interesting -- if not frightening -- glimpse into the minds of your fellow residents.

The region we're talking about generally sprawls north of Lake Mead Boulevard, spreads northeast and a bit southwest of Rancho Drive, and stops around Moccasin Road to the north.

With so many people boxes and Starbucks up there, it just doesn't seem right to call it by something as generic as "Northwest." So the city is running a contest.

Nominations close Thursday. A 35-member committee is charged with culling the 10 best names from this list. (The fact that the nameless region likely will be smack-dab in the center of town by the time 35 people can agree on anything is beside the point.)

Those 10 names will be narrowed to two, which will then be presented to the community for a vote. Fret not: This should be infinitely easier than naming a president.

Some of the names are traditional, which calls for naming a street, subdivision or community after the things that were obliterated to make way for the houses and strip malls.

Among these: Buffalo Grove, Buffalo Trails, Creosote Heights, Tortoise Run, Indian Rocks and Bristle Cone Pine (hey, if you're going to kill it, you might as well misspell it).

In the "Have You Even Visited Here?" category we have Coral Sands, Coral Vista, Clear Valley, Coolmont, Snow Mountain and Capitan de la Nieve, which a bilingual co-worker says is Spanish for "Captain of the Snow."

Other names make you wonder if medical marijuana was not only legal, but widely available in Ward 6 months before the Nov. 7 election.

What, pray tell, would we mean by Centennial Sunset Diamond? Little Mondo? Lone Moccasin? Nuevo Mackadonia? Children's Valley?

Grand Tetonia?

What planet are these people from?

While it is fun to poke fun, it's far tougher to submit something meaningful or catchy. Still, Desert Northwest or Durango Park could be contenders.

Dusty Trails provides an accurate image, but it's honest to a fault. After all, Strip Mall Flats and Tract House Haven would be accurate, too, but nobody would want to live there.

Relax. Those last two aren't on the list. I made them up.

But I did not make up Pawnderosa. What universal force inspires us to adulterate the language? Is Pawnderosa a ranch for playing chess?

Hualapalacia sounds like an Indian-Spanish-Italian opera. And my Spanish-speaking pals say Cuando Caliente el Vista and Hijos Valley lack the structure to make them mean anything at all.

But it takes all kinds to make a list. And take heart that this one shows we have neighbors who have not allowed the valley's unbridled growth, smog and road rage to strip away their senses of humor.

They suggested Mayberry, Winterlin and Grand Tetonopolis.

No, I did not make that up. But it's catchy, don't you think?