Columnist Susan Snyder: Olympics should be toasted

Tuesday, Nov. 14, 2000 | 9:42 a.m.

Susan Snyder's column appears Sundays, Tuesdays and Fridays. Reach her at snyder@lasvegassun.com or 259-4082.

Let me start by saying I like Utah.

It's fun to watch.

Oh, don't get your bloomers in a twist. I'm a former resident of the Land That Fun Forgot, and it's one of the most beautiful places on Earth. I'd go back tomorrow if the pay scale would come out of the '80s -- the 1880s.

Besides, it's fun to watch.

Why just last week, our neighbors to the east discussed the options for serving alcohol at the Winter Olympic Games in 2002 -- like there are a lot of options. This debate has gone on so long, God himself probably has stopped listening.

Members of the Salt Lake Organizing Committee have finally come up with guidelines for how alcohol will be sold at Olympic venues that stretch from Provo to Park City to Ogden (site of the curling competition).

Last week they decided it would be OK to serve beer with 3.2 percent alcohol content but even that would be left to the discretion of individual venue cities. This means BYOB or learn to love Mountain Dew.

For those unfamiliar with Utah's liquor laws -- and that would include a fair percentage of Utah residents -- they are complicated and convoluted at best.

At public events you can serve 3.2 beer or, well, 3.2 beer. Wine is considered "hard liquor," and therefore may only be served at private clubs or in restaurants if you order food (no, an olive is not "food").

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints forbids its members to consume alcohol. It only makes sense that a state settled by the LDS Church with a predominantly Mormon populous would favor laws making it tough to drink Satan's soda pop.

It honestly should come as no surprise -- even to Europeans, whom we are led to believe will want wine with their Wheaties.

Still, I'm thinking pleas for "cultural tolerance" won't be enough for hockey fans who may not be allowed to buy a beer because the Olympic hockey venue is in Provo, the Red Punch Capital of the West.

Bet those Olympic volunteers are falling over each other to be the ones charged with telling hockey fans they can't buy beer.

The committee also said no beer will be served at Salt Lake City's medals plaza, which is on land owned by the LDS Church. Now, none was served on Sundays at Atlanta's medals plaza, in accordance with local laws. Nobody seemed to make a big deal out of that.

But we're talking Utah, where an alcohol-license holder once told me you may only have one drink in front of you, unless you're drinking red wine. Then you can have one red wine and one of something else because red wine must breathe. (If the drinks stop breathing and start talking, however, switch to red punch.)

Most visitors to the Sober Games will be able to find the booze they want, committee members said. They can hit a private club, where they pay a nominal "membership" fee after being "sponsored" by a regular who usually sits near the door for that purpose.

Or they can visit a state-run liquor store. Those typically are found in nondescript buildings tucked in obscure corners of town. They're open two hours on odd days during a new moon, or something.

Yep, can't wait for those 2002 Winter Games. It will be fun to watch.