Columnist Susan Snyder: A manic Monday at DMV

Saturday, Nov. 4, 2000 | 3:39 a.m.

Susan Snyder's column appears Sundays, Tuesdays and Fridays in Accent. Reach her at snyder@lasvegassun.com or 259-4082.

Granted, the Department of Motor Vehicles has had better days.

It was a Monday, the second-to-last day of the month, and the first business day after DMV offices closed Oct. 27-28 for Nevada Day.

Granted, "The shortest line is at your mailbox," as posters hung around the West Flamingo Road office reminded us during the hours -- and hours and hours -- we spent waiting.

Yet there we were, in DMV purgatory. The chairs were full and the leaning spots along the wall were taken. A Las Vegas transplant sat cross-legged on the floor with Illinois plates in one hand and a bag of popcorn in the other.

She examined the numbered ticket DMV workers gave her as she walked in the door. It ranked her in the pecking order, estimated her wait and told her when to return if she left. Her expected wait time was five hours and 10 minutes.

"Five hours? I have to work tomorrow, and I have other things to do," she wailed. "There's insurance and ... I think I'll go away and come back."

Hopefully, she returned before the 5:40 p.m. suggested on the ticket. At 5 p.m. workers locked the doors. They served those waiting but didn't allow anyone new to enter.

The last technician (those harried-looking people behind the computer terminals) left the building at 8:30 p.m., DMV spokesman Kevin Malone said.

Malone says people seeking renewals make up a third of the 44,000 who visit the West Flamingo Road office each month. But they could mail it in, use the drop box, telephone or the Internet. (Cripes, a carrier pigeon would be faster.)

Hence, those of us who wait until the last possible day deserve whatever we get and make everyone else wait longer. My estimated wait was two hours, 24 minutes. My actual penalty was four hours.

The extra time was good for making totally unscientific sociological observations. For instance, keeping a preschooler occupied for three hours in a public building is not humanly possible. Stretch pants are not for everyone. And water fountains triggered by an electronic eye are not a good idea but are fun to watch.

The things don't turn on when you step up, but wait until your face is just above the spiggot then, "SPLOOT," right in your snoot. Of course as soon as someone turned his back to the contraption, it ran like Rush Limbaugh's mouth.

Malone says the wait estimates are an experiment and they aren't exact yet. They certainly aren't set up for the worst days. Some people who left Monday returned to waits of an hour or more.

"If this were a private industry -- if it were my company -- it would be open 24 hours a day. This is a 24-hour town," one man said.

DMV officials aren't talking about 24-hour rotations, but they have discussed staying open Sundays, Malone said. The Nevada Legislature is due to examine the system and explore expansions in staffing and funding in its 2001 session, he added.

Until then, renew by mail. Trust me on this one.

"If you have to come to the DMV, come in the middle of the day, in the middle of the week in the middle of the month," Malone said.

And don't forget the popcorn.

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