Q&A: Flyin’ the Coop

Sunday, March 19, 2000 | 9:57 a.m.

Pat Cooper's comedy is rapid fire, like an Uzi, and just as deadly.

He takes aim at icons, institutions and inflated egos.

Nothing is too sacred to be shot down by his verbal arsenal.

Kathie Lee Gifford?

"She's a phony. She opened for me years ago in Vegas. She was a phony then and she's a phony now."

Bill Cosby?

"He's a hypocrite. He put (David Letterman) down a couple of years ago, and then when Letterman was out recently because of his operation he filled in for him. That's hypocrisy."

Joe DiMaggio?

"A great idol, but the most miserable human being in the world. He was so tight. He wouldn't pick up a check."

Bill Maher, host of "Politically Incorrect"?

"He won't have anything to do with me. He can't handle my rapid fire talk. His show bombed here in town."

Sometimes Cooper's outspokenness backfires, such as the time he went on Tom Snyder's show in 1980 and said entertainers were hurting business in Las Vegas.

He said he angered a lot of people in town because of that statement and has rarely worked here since then, even though the Brooklyn native has been a resident for more than 30 years.

"Ninety-nine percent of my earning is back East, the Midwest and Florida. I just got back from Florida. I filled 12,000 seats in six days. I sold out," Cooper said. "I play Atlantic City in April, eight shows in six days and they're sold out. You can't get a ticket."

Having appeared in the Robert De Niro/Billy Crystal hit "Analyze This," he has tentative plans to appear in two more movies scheduled to be shot in New York City later this year.

"No matter where I go on the East Coast or the Midwest, I sell out. But here, they're scared of me in this town -- and here's another thing. If you're a local here they hate you. They've got to fly you in from the Yucatan so they can say 'Here's a great impressionist from the Yucatan.' "

When the 70-year-old Cooper speaks he jumps rapidly from topic to topic, his words coming so fast you think he's going to trip over his tongue and hurt himself.

Las Vegas Sun: Are you truly an angry person?

Pat Cooper: No. Can I tell you something? I'll give you the whole thing -- it's called lovable anger. It's anger that you want things to be right. My days are over. I'm finished. It's over for me. I just want to go to work and make a living. That's it. But you know, Bob Hope is 97 and still looking for a job. Give me a break. It's over Bob, your days are gone.

The classiest guy in the business was Perry Como. Did you hear anything about him quitting? He just went home and that was the end of it. That was a classy performer. Sinatra, God love him, he's been passed away, what, about a year already? They expect him to come back again! Hey, it's over, but he keeps getting publicity. You had Elvis tours, now you got Sinatra tours. Everybody's got Sinatra's arrangements. Everybody is doing a tribute to Frank Sinatra. Why didn't they do it when he was alive so the guy could appreciate it? But they didn't do that, they wait until the guy dies ... leave the man be, let him be in peace. I saw a show on him on the E! channel a couple of days ago, his life story. We know his life story! He's boring already. He went out with Ava Gardner ... who cares! It's over, finished, let's go onto other things.

Sun: What happened on the Snyder show?

PC: I accused the entertainers of this town of killing this town and what I said came to task. The entertainers destroyed this town (with) their greed. They were overpricing themselves. They needed six rooms, 17 tickets, comps for 40 people -- mother, father, aunts, uncles. What, I'm paying you $50,000 a week and I've got to take care of your family? So, when I made that statement I became the bad guy of the town. They said I didn't like the town. What they didn't realize was that I was trying to say something to warn that this town is going to go into the toilet, entertainment-wise.

Was I right? Look around you. The old kind of show business is over in this town and the country ... so (on the Snyder show) when I said that about the town, about the entertainers, they said this guy is out of order, he's disrespectful. I said no, I'm telling you right ... it's costing us work. Now you've got these hype jobs, you got 9,000 magicians, that's the hot thing. Now you got to have 9,000 impressionists, that's the hot thing. That's what they do.

You got a Danny Gans. I gotta tell you something, this is a lounge act that got lucky. This is a hype job, $100 a ticket! I saw Sinatra, I saw Perry Como. I saw the biggest stars in the world for less than that and here's a guy who's got to cost $100 a ticket? Give me a break! That's what's killing this business.

Sun: Did that one appearance on the Snyder show cause you to be blackballed?

PC: Absolutely. Then I went on televison to explain why I did it and then that thing went on for about eight or nine months. Don't criticize my talent. You want to criticize me for saying the truth that's fine, but, you know ... how can you push me aside when I'm doing business? They would rather you not get the job because they don't like what you say. You're not allowed to say anything bad about Steve Wynn. You're not allowed to say anything about (Kirk) Kerkorian. Hey, I say that about my mother and father -- they were a pain in the neck. So I can tell them to go scratch their rear end, why am I not going to go on about these other people? How dare they think that these people are special! They're human beings and if I think they did something wrong I'm going to say it. But it's not allowed. Ooh, you're going to be blackballed. Give me a break! Blackbal led. I fought for my country! Give me a break. Blackballed.

I was on the David Letterman show three times, until three years ago when I told him what I thought of him. I told him what a pleasure it was to die there, and he couldn't handle it. So help me God, he turned blue. That was the end of me there. You're not allowed to say that because he's David Letterman. He walks on water. Isn't it amazing, his cholesterol went up, he gets high ratings? If he had low (blood) sugar would he get low ratings? Give me a break. These guys make me laugh. All the guys are honoring him because he had cholesterol. They didn't honor him for his talent. I said Jesus, I got better cholesterol than him, you should turn around and give me a cross. If the shoe was on the other foot and one of his buddies got cholesterol and was almost dying, he wouldn't go. He wouldn't go because he's a very cold human being.

Sun: Do you want to perform in Vegas again?

PC: I want to perform everywhere. The last time I worked this town was the Boulder Station about a year and a half ago, and I sold it out. I tell you people in this town are afraid of me, but that's OK. I'll tell you how bad it got for me. You ready for this story? I'm at Caesars Palace about 15 or 20 years ago, just visiting. I'm at Caesars Palace and the comic got sick. They see me in the lobby, but they call California for a replacement comic. What does that tell you? So I said, oh, I don't think they like me here. I tell the talent buyer -- "you're an idiot, do you hate me?" He said, "I didn't see you." I said, "you saw me, I was having breakfast in the booth next to you."

That's what you're up against in this town -- the anger.

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