Shelf Life — Shelf Life: Williams and Friedman shoot and score on ‘Loose Balls’

Friday, March 10, 2000 | 9:19 a.m.

Scott Dickensheets' books and magazines column appears Fridays. Reach him at dickens@vegas.com or 990-2446.

The flu hit Shelf Life like a ton of germs. Headaches, achiness, a severe case of gunk-lung. My eyes unable to focus, the book I was supposed to review slipped half-read from my clammy fingers ...

Thankfully, Steve Friedman comes to the rescue. Friedman, a fine magazine writer (GQ, Esquire, Mirabella, others) and the author a few years ago of the manly guide, "A Gentleman's Guide to Life," is the co-author of hoops star Jayson Williams' new book, "Loose Balls: Easy Money, Hard Fouls, Cheap Laughs and True Love in the NBA"(Doubleday, $23.95).

He graciously answered a few questions about life as the as-told-to guy, thereby giving Shelf Life a stylish alternative to filling this space with the sound of my hacking cough.

Q: How would you characterize your role in the writing of the book -- navigator to Jayson's pilot, providing guidance and plotting the course; loyal bearer, following his lead and doing the heavy lifting; or is there another, perhaps sillier, metaphor that applies?

A: Boswell to his Johnson? Kato to his Green Hornet? Aaron to his Moses? (You know that Aaron actually delivered Moses' words to the Israelites? Moses wasn't a very good public speaker. Really. Stuttered, or cleft palate or something). Yeah, Aaron to his Moses. That's my sacrilegious favorite. Even though, in fact, Jayson is an incredible public speaker.

Q: How did the book actually get written? Did you guys spend a lot of time in the same rooms hammering it out, or did he tape-record stuff and send it to you?

A: Regarding the latter -- HAHAHAHAHAHA!

True story: After laboring over a book proposal that described a "year in the life" of one of the NBA's most candid and articulate (and funny) citizens, and describing how Jayson was going to record his thoughts on almost a daily basis for eight months, and explaining how we would use the chronology of a season as a skeleton on which to hang his musings about racism, sex, violence, etc. in professional sports, then getting a book contract from Doubleday, then asking Jayson to start sending me tapes, then fedexing him a tape recorder when I didn't see any of the aforementioned tapes, I called him and implored him to start talking into the microphone.

And he told me, "Steve, we're not doing that s--- this time." (He actually had spoken -- about 100,000 words -- into a tape recorder for the magazine article he "wrote" and I edited for GQ.)

So what we ended up doing was getting together over the year -- probably about 20 or 30 hours on tape. From that, I organized the book. And, as it turns out, I think the method we used helped the final project.

Spending time together, having actual conversations, got Jayson to reflect and elaborate on things he perhaps wouldn't have had he been talking into a tape recorder. For example, one night I just recited names of players and coaches in the NBA, and asked him to give me his first reaction. From that evening came much of Chapter Two ("The Meanest, Funniest, Smelliest and Softest Players in the League and How Larry Bird's Better Than Most People Think, Hakeem is Nastier, and Michael Jordan is Much, Much, Much Meaner.")

And, as a side note, I heard a story -- probably apocryphal -- about a well-known pro football player whose autobiography was "written" by his collaborator after 45 minutes together. So I feel extremely fortunate to have gotten Jayson for as long as I did.

Q: Can you get a writerly satisfaction from a joint project like this?

A: Well, creative satisfaction, definitely. Not the same as writing a story or book myself, but certainly creative satisfaction. And the satisfaction of working hard to help a person organize his life and thoughts into a book.

Q: How did your relationship with Jayson evolve during the writing? Are you guys pals now or was it all business?

A: I don't think a writer can do a project like this and not become friendly with the subject. We talked about the most intimate aspects of Jayson's life and his career, the discussions took place over late dinners, on long car rides, sometimes among his oldest friends and his family.

His adoptive grandson threw up behind me one day in Jayson's car. One of his cows chased me at Jayson's house. So, though it was a business venture, it was also very personal. I feel friendly toward Jayson. I think he feels friendly toward me. I don't think the project would have worked otherwise.

Q: What surprised you most in the writing of the book, either about Jayson himself or pro basketball?

A: I knew how candid and funny Jayson was, but the two things that surprised -- I'd even say shocked -- me were 1) the stories he told me about other players and coaches in the league, and 2) the staggering racism and brutality and overall weirdness he endured growing up in a tiny town in South Carolina.

The other thing that surprised me was that with all the stories of sex and violence and conniving and insecurity and other pretty raw stuff that happens in the league, the stories are so damned funny.

Q: Jayson's been out this season with injuries. Any concern about that dimming the book's sales?

A: Some concern, but not too much, since the book is more about the rest of the league -- it's been called "The Ball Four of Basketball" -- than it is a straight "My Story."

Q: "Loose Balls" -- OK, whose idea was that?

A: The editor in chief at Doubleday. Jayson and I initially thought it was too raunchy. Now we love it. Especially if it sells a gazillion copies.

Q: Got another project lined up?

A: Trying to.

Reading matter

A few weeks ago Shelf Life offered an enthusiastic, even giddy, review of Dave Eggers' memoir, "A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius." We weren't alone -- the book's become something of a phenomenon, earning two reviews in the New York Times, a fat spread in Time and ubiquitous, admiring mentions nearly everywhere else.

It's about time someone made fun of it.

The folks at modernhumorist.com have spliced two publishing marvels into one delicious parody, "Harry Potter and the Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius." It combines the witchy setting and terminology of the former with the post-modern navel-gaze of the latter. Worth a click.

And while you're there, check out the parody of Talk magazine's mission statement: "Who is Talk? Talk is a man who loves it when a plan comes together, and a woman who loves that same man. Talk is a small child staring out a big window, looking at a dog, or a plane, or a poster supporting the campaign of Hillary Clinton for U.S. Senate."

There are certainly parodic elements in the April Playboy's lead feature on the Ted Binion trial. "This was not in the new Las Vegas, the one that's like a Disney theme park. ... It was in the other Vegas (note the dropped "Las" for dramatic impact!), the Vegas of martinis and fast talk and shady deals and lap dances ... the Vegas where no one is really surprised when a romance that began in a strip club ends in murder."

Not surprised at all; that's why no one here has paid the slightest attention to the case.

At first you're hoping that writer Peter Alson might be trying to vamp up his story with a few ironic Dashiell Hammett moves, a novel approach to an overexposed story.

Alas, no. He's simply pumping up the seediness to sell the Vegas angle -- if the no-good son of a canned-chicken magnate in Des Moines had died under similar circumstances, would you be reading about it in Playboy? Would you be subjected to the following: "Once upon a time, what Sandy Murphy and Ted Binion had was real, or as real as anything gets in this town"?

Well, Mrs. Shelf Life is going to be disappointed to learn that, since our relationship hasn't involved drugs, big money, extramarital sex and death, it isn't as real as anything gets in this town. Of course, we live in Henderson, so maybe that changes things.

Despite the above, if you can plow through the blizzard of cliches at the beginning, Alson's story eventually becomes a competent, if not very flashy, summary of the Binion mess. In case you haven't been paying attention or have been too sick to follow along.

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