Where I Stand — Janie Greenspun Gale: Extraordinary father

Sunday, June 18, 2000 | 11:14 a.m.

--Brian Greenspun

This must be the first column I've ever volunteered to write. I did so for two reasons.

First, what do you get for a man who gives his children everything -- and all he asks in return is for a column once in a while?

Second, this being Father's Day, I thought I'd give some advice to new fathers and fathers-to-be on what it takes to be an extraordinary father. I'm somewhat of an expert on the subject; you see, I've been blessed with one.

The kind of father I'm talking about is resourceful. He isn't intimidated by authority figures when the well being of his children is at stake, and he doesn't take no for an answer, if yes would better serve mankind.

He will phone the president of a railroad to make sure his daughter has something to eat, if he ever becomes so overwhelmed by her leaving for camp that he forgets to give her her lunch.

He will buy out the entire theatre auditorium for the high school play, and then fill the place with employees so his daughter will get a cheering ovation when she takes her bow.

He will be one of three representatives from Nevada in an anti-war parade in Washington, D.C., because the other two are his sons.

He will make a rule at his office that, even if he is with the president of the United States, if any of his children should call, put them right through.

A truly exceptional father makes time for his children. He takes them to work with him, for bike rides, on walks, on vacations, plays sports with them, teaches them about life and listens.

He helps them with problems and never judges. He'll move heaven and earth to make them smile. He laughs and teaches them laughter. He cries and teaches them tears.

He holds their hands when they are shaky; he lightly prods them when they're shy. He encourages, comforts, supports and disciplines his children, so they don't need aid too often.

He can cite funny examples and anecdotes at a moment's notice, depending upon the situation.

If one of his children is ever the butt of a prejudicial joke, he knows exactly what to say to ease the hurt and teach tolerance at the same time.

He knows the value of money, able to tell you what a stale doughnut cost in 1920. But he is always generous and knows when a handout would be appreciated.

He has the wisdom of Solomon, the handsomeness of Cary Grant and the wit of Will Rogers. He teaches his children to question, to debate and to think. He only interferes usually, but he always does so with love.

He must be endowed with unbelievable patience and an extreme amount of fatherly pride to be able to sit through dance and piano recitals, drama contests and birthday parties. And he never misses one.

He should have strength, intelligence, perseverance, stability, stamina, decisiveness, purposefulness, determination and compassion. Children learn by examples, and he must set a shining one.

A truly great father has an eloquence in the way he speaks, he uses descriptive sayings and quotes the sages, rather than using slang or curse words, preferring to have children who are well-spoken and articulate.

He has heroes like Abraham Lincoln, Mark Twain, William Allen White, Thomas Jefferson, Oliver Wendell Holmes, Fiorella LaGuardia and Winston Churchill. He admires great minds, brilliant writers, strong characters, integrity, incorruptibility and those who lead with commitment and courage, for those are the characteristics he shares with them all.

He has as much hope as a prospector for gold, and more love than all the poets could describe. And he lavishes his children with all of it, unconditionally, even though they may be miles away. He teaches his children to love one another, to appreciate all that they have, and to be mindful of from where it came. He is their best friend, biggest fan and strongest ally.

He gives his children roots and wings. And in return they adore him, respect and admire him and seek his company.

He is their hero. He is their guide. And he is loved beyond all bounds.

This is some of what goes into the making of an extraordinary father.

On Father's Day, as every day, I thank God for mine.

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