That’s Life — Steve Bornfeld: The doctors will see you now

Friday, July 21, 2000 | 9:02 a.m.

Steve Bornfeld is the Sun features editor. His column appears Fridays. Reach him at steveb@lasvegassun.com or 259-4081.

Hiya, Dr. Moe. Everything check out OK?

I'm concerned about that minor swelling in your leg, so I'm sending you to my orthopedic man, Dr. Larry.

Where is Dr. Larry located, Dr. Moe?

He's at the medical building at 3150 North Whatchamacallit Court, Suite 2069-Squared-Divided-By-X.

Maybe I'm confused because there are a lot of medical buildings in this town and they're all bunched together and they all look alike and they all have more suites than the Bellagio and they're all beginning to sound strange to me -- but I thought that was THIS address.

No, this is 3152 South Whatchamacallit Court, Suite 5237-Squared- Divided-By-Q.

Oh. OK.

Now, I'd also recommend some blood work for you. Take this slip to the lab.

Where is that?

8077 West Flibberdeegibitt Ave., Suite 27006-To-The-10th-Power- Minus-7.35.

Uh, right.

And for safety's sake, why don't we also schedule you for an MRI? Just take this form to the imaging center.

Which is where?

9652 East Kitchy-Kitchy-Koo Blvd., Suite Three-French-Hens-Two-Turtle-Doves-And-A-Partridge-In-A-Pear-Tree-And-A-Half.

Uh-huh.

Hiya, Dr. Moe. I saw Dr. Larry the other day. He says there wasn't anything to worry about with my leg. Just some scar tissue, nothing more.

That's fine but your blood work showed some high gastro-intestinal counts, so I'd like you to see Dr. Curly, who is a specialist in this area.

Where would he be?

999 South Ooogalee-Mooogalee Circle, Suite Negative-6. And you need to schedule another MRI.

And that would be where this time?

.65 East HA-Cha-Cha-Cha Road, Suite 0001-Times-Three-Minus-17-To- The-19th-Percentile.

Of course.

Yo, Dr. Moe. I've seen Dr. Curly. And I already saw Dr. Larry. So is that about it?

Well, we haven't discussed your sleep disorder. I'd like to set you up with the sleep disorder clinic.

And that would be?

1313 North Whoziwhats Lane, Suite 1-800-COLLECT.

Who do I see about this, Dr. Moe?

My cardio-pulmonary man, Dr. Shemp.

And he's based at the sleep clinic?

No. He's based at $79.52 West Ram-A-Lam-A-Ding-Dong Drive, Suite Bop-Sh-Bop-Sh-Bop.

I'm not sure how to get there.

At the light, hang a right onto Whatchamacallit, then take it to Flibberdeegibitt, which eventually turns into Kitchy-Kitchy-Koo, and just after you pass Ooogalee-Mooogalee, take your first right onto HA-Cha-Cha-Cha, then a hard left onto Whoziwhats, and you'll run right into Ram-A-Lam-A-Ding-Dong. Suite Bop-Sh-Bop-Sh-Bop is on the third floor of the Bomp-Ba-Bomp-Ba-Bomp Wing, adjacent to Suite Dit-Di-Dit-Di-Dit.

I'm very grateful to you, Dr. Moe. And to Dr. Larry, Dr. Curly and Dr. Shemp.

Soitenly.