Columnist Ron Kantowski: Football team must raise the roof — literally

Tuesday, Jan. 25, 2000 | 9:29 a.m.

Ron Kantowski's notes column appears Tuesday and Thursday. Reach him at ron@vegas.com or 259-4088.

Stop it already.

I was going to say that it seems a week doesn't go by before another professional minor league announces grandiose plans to establish a franchise in Las Vegas.

But "seems" would be understating matters. It is every week.

Last week, it was ABA 2000 which called a news conference to talk about adding another sure-to-struggle pro basketball franchise to the one we already have (the Silver Bandits of the International Basketball League). The week before that, some guy put an idea for a new pro football league that he must have drawn up on a cocktail napkin up on the Internet. It also includes Las Vegas.

And now this, on the fax machine. Something called the USIFL -- the United States Inside Football League -- might be coming to town and says it will play games at the All-American Sport Park in late March. This March. As in roughly seven weeks from today.

As if setting up a pro sports team was as easy as erecting a McDonald's hamburger stand.

Forget about rounding up coaches, players and cheerleaders -- according to the fax, the Las Vegas team will have more cheerleaders (25) than players (20), if the league comes to pass.

But what if it comes to kick? I'm not even sure the ceiling at the Sport Park is tall enough to allow for punts.

Perhaps it could accommodate those of Todd Sauerbrun, who during his Bears career hit more line drives than Rod Carew. But Ray Guy's punts almost certainly would rattle the low ceiling.

We've all heard of "tearing the roof off the place." But I'm afraid doing it literally is about the best this league could hope for.

* KAMBALA HARDWARE: If UNLV's Kaspars Kambala picks up any more hardware from the Mountain West Conference, he'll have enough to open a True Value franchise.

The Rebels' power forward on Monday was named MWC player of the week for the third time in nine weeks. If the award was a traveling trophy, Kambala would have earned the right to permanently display it on his mantel.

Teammate Mark Dickel also has earned the award once, giving UNLV the honor four times in nine weeks.

Trevor Diggs' shooting percentage should be so good.

* RPI UPDATE: The Rebels have been on a nice little run of late, thanks to the likes of Air Force and San Diego State -- look up "patsy" in the dictionary, and you'll find an illustration of Lee Oswald, clutching airbrushed Falcon and Aztec logos.

But UNLV really is no closer to qualifying for the NCAA Tournament than it was before all this winning stuff commenced. The Rebels were fourth among the eight MWC teams in RIP -- the Ratings Percentage Index ratings that are crucial in determining the tournament at-large berths -- two weeks ago and they remain fourth today.

UNLV ranks 75th in RPI, behind Brigham Young (No. 20), Utah (No. 33) and Colorado State (No. 68). Without an automatic tourney invite, the MWC will be fortunate to get two teams in this year.

If the Rebels continue to play well and don't go to The Dance, they can thank their woeful nonconference schedule. Victory-challenged Nevada-Reno, Cal Poly, Eastern Kentucky, High Point and Florida Atlantic, which UNLV for some reason will play here on Feb. 22, are rated No. 262, 271, 272, 284 and 310, respectively, in RPI.

The list stops at 318.

* NOT THE ANSWER: And the next time somebody mentions former Rebel standout Sidney Green in the context of "future Rebel coach" check the sentence for a factual error.

The above-mentioned Florida Atlantic team is coached by Green. Its record is 0-16.

* SEBASTIAN'S CARROT: In addition to being a quipster -- during the Sugar Bowl he said he couldn't call home to Poland during the holidays because everybody in Chicago was tying up the phone lines -- Florida State kicker Sebastian Janikowski is also walking around with a lot more cash than the jocks I knew in college.

Over the weekend, Janikowski tried to bribe an officer who was detaining one of his buddies following a nightclub disturbance with three $100 bills.

Back in my day, the athletes I knew thought they were doing good if by Friday they could still scrape together six bits for a bottle of Boones Farm.

* AROUND THE HORN: I've been pulling for pro golfer Robert Gamez since the day I bumped into him at the local Philly Cheesesteak. And that was before he lost his PGA Tour card, when he had the cash to feast on the finest of meats and cheeses. But over the weekend, Gamez proved he could still play the game, cashing in on his standing invitation to the Bob Hope Classic by finishing just eight shots off the pace and pocketing a check for $42,086. ... An immediate family member was on the same flight as the Lady Rebels basketball team from Colorado Springs to Albuquerque, N.M., last weekend, seated in the midst of coach Regina Miller and her players. She called to say the experience was delightful, complimenting Miller and her players for their deportment and friendliness. ... And finally, fight promoter Bob Arum was right when he said there is no such thing a s bad publicity. The day after Sports Illustrated mentioned the Stadium Pal -- a concealed contraption that allows a fan to go to the bathroom without leav ing his seat -- in its "Sign That the Apocalypse Is Upon Us" department, the student at Cincinnati State (say, aren't they Minnesota State's arch rival?) who invented it sold 19 of the units via the Internet.